I changed the title several times, sorry about that, until I found the one that actually reflected the content. This is a post about where I’m at. I’m at Lostville. I could also have called this post – More reasons why I’d like to give living in Sweden a go.
Over recent years I’ve become increasingly uncertain about my views on the sex industry and interviews like this one with Gunilla Ekberg of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women unsettle me further. I thought I had my views nailed down, legalising sex work to protect the workers. Because:
- Women working in legal brothels are safer and more in control.
- The sex industry isn’t ever going to disappear so lets work with it out in the open to make it better for women.
- Making industries illegal only increases the risk factor of supply making it attractive to hard-core criminals.
- Consenting adults should be able to choose what they do with their own bodies.
- Lots of women working in the industry are empowered, who am I, a non-sex worker to tell them what is best for them.
Sometime during my late adolescence and early twenties I found sex-positive feminism. Enjoying sex, initiating sex, seeking out new sexual experiences, being in charge of your own sex life, taking care of your own orgasm and not his – these are transgressive acts for young women. What more exhilerating way to explore your feminism as a young woman than through your sexuality? To risk being labelled a slut is no small matter for girls as anyone who ever went to high school can tell you. But this avenue of feminism is still a luxury, it’s a path that myself and other feminists can traverse only because other feminists have gone before us dealing with the not so fun, not so sexy, much more perilous elements of equality.
While I was developing my political interests I also became more educated on sex worker rights. As in most areas of debate around decriminalising, I was entirely convinced by the case for legalising sex work. Being anti-prostitution seemed way too close to being anti-sex workers, and this was definitely too close to being anti-women for my feminism. I’d like to think of all sex workers being like these two women – Renegade Evolution, a stripper and internet porn performer, and Belle de Jour a London call girl. These two women are smart, sharp-witted, articulate, feminist, fun, well-paid, and empowered, or rather no more disempowered than every other woman. They’re both dedicated bloggers too. Both of them are doing a lot to demystify sex work and to give a voice to workers; however anonymous a blog is, it can also be surprisingly self-revealing and theirs are gutsy in their level of revelation . Hearing the voices of real sex workers is still relatively rare and personally I can count the number of sex workers I’ve been social acquaintances with on one hand… well two fingers to be exact. But to be honest with you, neither of those sex workers (one male and one female and both selling sex to male clients) seemed as empowered as Renegade Evolution and Belle de Jour. My knowledge of sex work is still limited and given its limitations I’ve been reluctant to draw an opinion on what’s best for the workers themselves. I’ve relied upon the opinions of sex workers, and not just any workers - the empowered, political ones.
But what if we’re starting from the wrong premise entirely? What if sex work isn’t really work, but exploitation? What if legalising sex work isn’t making the lives of the women in the industry better at all? What if legalising sex work really just legalises exploitation and allows it to flourish?
Gunilla Ekberg: Not working, women do not — you cannot work when you are being violated, that is not work. But there are much less women who are victims of trafficking to Sweden and within Sweden, because in our neighbouring countries with similar population though lower numbers, if you look at Finland for example, which didn’t until last year, have legislation that would penalise the buyers, they had between 10,000 and 15,000 victims of trafficking every year, and that is just women coming in to the country, being trafficked into the country, bought by Finnish men.
Norway does not have this legislation yet, they have several thousand victims of trafficking every year, including involvement of the Nigerian Mafia, which is very rare in the Scandinavian countries. If you look at Denmark with four and a half million people, they’ve gone from 1990 where they had 1,700 women in prostitution, to having over 6,000 women, mostly women from other countries, being victims of trafficking. Now what has that led to? Well, Finland passed legislation that prohibits the purchase of sexual services last year; the government of Norway will present a Bill this fall; they have a hearing on 10th October, because they can see that they can’t handle this any more. In Denmark the debate is going very high because they’re losing control over the influx of organised crime and the trafficking of women there. We can see also in Sweden that we don’t have the large organised networks in the prostitution industry.
A positive link between legalising brothels and trafficking? We could, like Sweden reduce the worst of illegal prostitution (trafficking women and children) by reducing the avenues for legal prostitution? Now that is a compelling argument against legalising, that is a difficult one for me to dispute. That is heart-breakingly tempting. Then later in the same story after Ekberg’s arguments, when I heard this comment from Janelle Fawkes, CEO of the Scarlet Alliance (a sex worker advocacy group) speaking about trafficking, I started.
Janelle Fawkes: In our opinion, we need to look at visa requirements, we need to look at legal ways for people, women, to come to work in the sex industry in Australia if that’s what they seek to do.
Really, do women really want to come and work in the sex industry in Australia? Do they want to come and have sex with sweaty Australian men for money? (No offence Australian men, but it’s hot over here). In the context of Ekberg’s arguments Fawkes’s views seemed ludicrous (though taken out of context here). Sex work just isn’t one of those industries that you can imagine many women wanting to work in when so few are paid and treated well. It is an industry that mistreats so many. My whole reason for supporting the case for legalisation was to protect women, not do them harm. Ekberg reawakened in me a utopian vision of a world without prostitution. Maybe I wasn’t sex-positive all those years after all, to even have such a fantasy in me. I started to imagine the possibility of not learning to live with prostitution, but rather learning to live without it.
Having started to question my views on the sex industry, I’m feeling a little uncomfortable with pretty much all elements of the industry. Like vegetarianism, if you think it’s wrong to eat animals then you can easily question all animal product use. I’ve had to draw a line for myself, and vegetarianism is where I’ve drawn it. Now that legalising prostitution hasn’t turned out so well, what about everything else in the sex industry? I’m certainly not judging you if you’re working in the sex industry (at least I hope I’m not) and I’m not even judging you if you’re buying in the sex industry. I don’t know where I draw my own line here. I’m very unresolved, like feminism itself. My views have been shifting over time and increasingly I find that my doubts with the prostitution side of the sex industry also relate to the porn side of the industry. Almost everyone I know has enjoyed porn and they’re not bad people – but what kind of industry are we all participating in and doesn’t our consumption come with any conscience? As much as there are empowered women in the porn industry, many are very much not. I want to believe there is such a thing as feminist porn but I’m still not sure it’s possible – money and gender inequality are such powerfully corrupting influences. I believe that it is ok for people to watch other people having consensual sex, that such an appetite is not repulsive or corrosive or requiring prohibition. But watching happy consensual sex doesn’t seem to be describing the porn industry much these days. When I read something like this (and it is so worth the read), I think I’m done, I’m out, I can’t defend porn any longer.
After all this rambling do I have a conclusion? Nope, I’m lost. I’m stranded in the great sex industry debate of feminism. But I can tell you is that people like Ekberg are making more sense to me these days.
The rationale behind the visas, that I heard, was because women are already being trafficked and then held hostage by people keeping their passports. A woman died in immigration detention a few years back in such a case, while the state was making drama about ’saving’ trafficked women, and at the same time it was an open secret that other visa categories were being abused to bring in women as ‘traditional dancers’ for sex work. The argument is, and I am not saying it’s perfect or that there is a perfect solution here, that as long as the gaps in feminised poverty between nations exist, some women WILL risk it, and making them legal visa holders would reduce risks of trafficker abuse.
I don’t think you can seperate the issues from feminised poverty and lack of migratory labour rights overall.
I also think re:legalisation that no politician’s going to admit that exploting labour in some Asian region nations leads to increases in women being trafficked or independently coming to Oz to be commercially raped or work in exploitive conditions (I do note a difference, because the workers themselves express differences in circumstances and it’s not for feminists to deny women’s own account of their own consent). What pollie is going to brave that political death issue “hey, we have a real market in exploiting Asian region women!”
outfox – thanks for your comments. I understand the rationale behind the visas argument and I took her comment completely out of its context, it’s just that even saying ‘women want to come over here to work in the sex industry’ started to sound dubious to me after Ekberg’s arguments. I have long used the term sex work, but even using that term now has me wondering if I am part of the legitimizing of a way of life we have where women and children are exploited, that might not exist if we didn’t have such inequality between the sexes (for consumption of sex services is almost entirely by men). Thinking about Sweden’s change in stance and now the UK considering it too – maybe the answer wasn’t to try and work with such an exploitative industry in the first place, maybe we headed down the wrong track?
And for all the women who say they enjoy sex work and find it empowering and rewarding I’m thinking globally they must be outnumbered by 100:1, at least. And with those odds I’m wondering why we support such an industry. Anyway, these are more questions for myself because my post is hardly going to riddle us the answer to this debate – just that my own views are shifting and I’m not sure about the arguments in support of the sex industry any more. What happened to my sex positivity?
I don’t think grappling with the ethics of sex industries necesarrily reflects anything about a feminists’ sex positivity, becuase it’s a huge issue to work through and the issue/women in the industries aren’t proxies for the sexual identity of those outside (unless we too, are objectifying them in some way).
I respect that the term sex-positive has meaning for specific feminists, but overall it reflects, imho, the degree to which the Sex Wars got polarised for USA feminists. I’m glad that feminists working on various approaches here don’t (usually) get as polarised and into talking about who is the ‘bad feminist’ based on our sexualities. IMHO all feminisms are sex positive, because they raise awareness and act on issues of agency and rights, which is pretty sexy.
Which isn’t meant to criticise your use of the term or anything, it’s a huge issue where I’m not having a rigid opinion, I’m just rambling points here. Anyway, child has arrived to be taken out, bye.
The latest New Internationalist is on Sex Trafficking and discusses some of these points too from a few different perspectives (and the good thing about newint is that they actually go and talk to these people and ask them what they think). I’ve also been hearing a lot about a movie called The Jammed or is it The Jammers which is based around a woman who is caught up in sex trafficking. Though I realise you’re not really talking about trafficking so much here as feminist attitudes towards the sex industry.
There has been a fair bit of media attention and pop culture exploring the sex industry, particularly trafficking. The significance of the issue across the western world was recently addressed in September’s New Internationalist. The stats and the stories made my toes curl. In the midst of it I was curious about the feminist framework around the sex industry. So thanks for a post on this very topical issue and I value your honesty in your reflections around your conflict and indecision. I agree that it’s incredibly complex to form a conclusion about the sex industry that can honour women and condemn exploitation simultaneously.
Well, I do think it could be positive for prostitution to be legal here (US) but only because if it were legal, sex workers couldn’t be exploited by both clients and the law (in theory, anyway). 95% of people arrested for prostitution are women and that’s just wrong. You arrest the sex worker, but not the client, or the pimp? That’s bullshit.
I generally don’t put prostitution under “sex positivism.” I think women who talk about sex workers and pleasure in the same breath ignore the very real plight of the average sex worker. Saying that sex workers do what they do because they want to allows us to ignore the feminization of poverty. Yes, there are Annie Sprinkles in the world. But ask most sex workers if they would rather be a lawyer or a nurse or a sex worker. I doubt they would choose the latter.
Sex work also reinforces ideas that men are super horny animals who lack self-control and that women are willing, passive recepticles who make no demands in the bedroom. That is a fantasy that does not benefit women at all. There is nothing of sex postivism there that I can see.
Frankly, I think feminists who dismiss sex work as a positive and empowering industry have betrayed women who exist (barely) at the most extreme margins of our society, who have NO voice, and no allies, and who are very great risk of violence.
I wouldn’t worry about your sex postivism too much. Not all sex is positive. Some sex only reinforces patriarchy, and that is NOT feminist.
bluemilk, this was very interesting and made me think more deeply about my position (which i guess you know is fairly liberal), particularly about porn.
i mean there’s no denying the extremes are shocking, as that nerve.com story showed. i just vaguely feel that the question is more whether the mainstream has in fact become more extreme, or whether we’ve just seen the emergence of a new market catering to that 10% of the population that has abberrant behavior. these people were already out there and the net is just a very efficient new channel. it doesn’t necessarily mean that the tastes of normal sex-positive people/couples have become more extreme, nor that the group of people with abnormal behavior and tastes has actually increased.
anyway, i need to think it all through more, myself.
(thanks again for all your wonderful posts. i just marvel how you find the time, but i’m really glad you do.)
I’m afraid this all comes back to people being uncomfortable with the idea of people choosing sex work as a valid occupation.
You may find it hard to believe that sex workers choose to come here and work in the Australian sex industry, but to those workers who have chosen to do just that these statements are patronising.
If a sex worker has no way to enter this country to work in the sex industry other than to enter a contract with an agent who can help, then how can it not be obvious that providing visas for them so that they have other choices would be empowering them? Or perhaps it would be better for them to continue to work in their own country for less money per job than they receive here?
Or has no one mentioned that the majority of ‘trafficked’ sex workers who come to Australia were already sex workers before they arrived, and seek to earn money at a better exchange rate?
‘Sex work just isn’t one of those industries that you can imagine many women wanting to work in when so few are paid and treated well’
I would like to know where this opinion came from. Was it from reading the research into the Australian industry, which shows that sex workers here are generally satisfied with their work, well educated and do not experience exploitation? Or is it due to discomfort with the idea that sex workers have sex with strangers for money?
Australia has some of the most liberal legislation in the world when it comes to the sex industry, and I am certainly grateful that I have the opportunity to work without myself or my clients being criminalised. Given my experiences over the last eleven years, having worked with hundreds of sex workers here who are both Australian and CALD workers, I’d say that most of the sex workers I’ve known have put old Belle to shame in terms of self determination, generosity of spirit and down to earth good humour.
How unfortunate that feminism as a whole has turned its back on their voices time and again, only sex workers who have negative stories are worth hearing, the rest of us are but poor victims too deluded to understand our own degradation.
As for the earlier comment that sex workers would not choose this profession if given other choices such as nursing, it is clear that poster has not met many sex workers, or they would know how many are qualified as nurses, social workers, anthropologists and yes, lawyers. Yet some of us still choose sex work.
Astonishing.
Shelle – thanks for leaving such a long and thoughtful comment.
I imagine it is frustrating to see your occupation discussed as an idle contemplation of ethical dilemmas by women who don’t work in the industry. I apologise for that, because my post is not really an attempt to resolve anything. I can imagine if I read endless discussions of motherhood by non-parents I’d be pretty pissed.
I thought about this element before posting on the topic and I decided that I would post on it (once) mostly because I am surprised to find my views shifting so much, and also because even if I am not a sex worker the industry still impacts on me – not only as a potential consumer (probably not of sex itself, but certainly most of us have bought porn or watched a strip show), but also because the sex industry says something about the status of women (just as the beauty industry does for instance).
I also agree that it is patronising for me and other feminists to state that sex work is disempowering if we’re not workers in the industry ourselves. I really struggle with that. I also struggle with the fact that sex work advocates are usually the empowered workers, not the really marginalised ones. Is it like only talking to the service staff in the high end hospitality businesses, the ones with the best conditions, the best pay and the highest-tipping customers about the entire service industry? Might we be missing a lot of the story?
Given that you’ve worked in the industry and it sounds like you may have worked in a political role in the industry, do you think this is the case or do you see otherwise?
Shelle, you say that sex workers don’t experience exploitation in Australia but I find that difficult to reconcile with the booklet that is sent out to members of my state’s sex worker advocacy group that details all the latest warnings as reported by workers on their clients in the state. It’s chilling reading: full of rape, near-rape, verbal abuse, theft, brutality, and assualts of workers by clients. What kind of industry do we have where these are the relatively common risks workers are exposed to? And yes, workers in brothels are definitely safer than these solo workers but then the worker I knew socially (as mentioned above) who was helping set up a new brothel was telling me about what a great relationship they were developing with their neighbors and how the bikie club house next door was looking forward to raffling off one of the workers for their next club event. And it’s hard for me to think about this as being anything else but extraordinarily disempowering for women. Disempowering for the worker herself and disempowering for all women, that men think of women as objects who can be bought and randomly raffled off. I can’t imagine the winner of that raffle is going to necessarily be a fun client. I can’t imagine coming away from that experience and feeling fulfilled. I don’t know how the worker copes with it, I don’t know how she rises above it.
And what about the ‘independent contractor’ nature of workers in brothels – one that means that they pay for the premises and that employers don’t have to take any real financial responsibility for workers or offer them any entitlements? If these workers can’t truly work as ‘independent contractors’ – if they’re obliged to sign up for certain shifts or risk their work opportunities at the brothel, then aren’t they being exploited?
When I read the report (linked to in the post) on the Nebraska brothels I find that so disheartening, the women are treated so brutally. This kind of thing makes me wonder if legalising the industry really works, or if the very notion of being able to buy an intimate experience with someone some how corrupts our integrity, somehow makes us think we’ve bought a person – like slavery (as it is compared to in one of those links).
I don’t think I’m uncomfortable with sex with strangers. One night stands aren’t repugnant to me. I’m uncomfortable with anyone having sex with a woman if they don’t view her respectfully, don’t think she is a whole, entire person, of equal value to themselves. I like to think that the clients of the sex industry do feel this respect for workers but I’m dubious. Men in the general frequently don’t appear to show this respect for women, how much worse is it when they feel like they are buying that woman? The act of buying sex seems almost inherently exploitative. The idea that someone is having sex with you, a very intimate gift of their body/mind, who otherwise wouldn’t if you didn’t have the money and they didn’t need the money. I know this philosophy could extend to all areas of commerce but sex work seems particularly vulnerable to it.
Shelle, is there any part of you that has doubts about the sex industry, that wonder if its losses outweigh its gains? I ask only to find out ultimately how you resolved those questions if so and if that is the case if you have some thoughts on the situation which could help me resolve it.
As for your comment about feminism turning its back on sex workers, all I can say is I agree. The conflict between feminist sex workers and feminists strongly opposed to the sex industry is divisive and stalled. Feminism needs to resolve this split.
Thanks for your reply, there’s a lot to address here, and much of it would need pages of response but I’ll do my best to be brief.
‘I also struggle with the fact that sex work advocates are usually the empowered workers, not the really marginalised ones.’
I see your point here, but who do you think talks to, and more importantly listens to, the marginalised?
There are mainly two types of people who talk to them, the first are those who believe that the best response to their situation is to provide methods for exiting the industry whether those workers want them or not, and that the best response to bad working conditions is to leave the industry altogether.
The other type are peers who listen to the problems and start working to resolve them and improve conditions. The most effective way to improve working conditions for sex workers is through empowerment. This certainly involves decriminalisation (not regulation) but also skill sharing, peer support and access to information.
Australia is fairly unique in that the majority of sex work projects here are peer based, and this approach works very well. The sex worker organisations work to improve conditions through law reform, consultation on policy in areas of health and welfare and initiate community based projects. The most important part of this is that it is peer based. People who are not sex workers are not appropriate to these organisations, which is why so many non-peer based organisations overseas have failed to significantly impact on working conditions.
Sex worker advocates here in Australia co-operate with sex workers all over the world to share skills and knowledge around these issues and attempt to wrest control from those who think they know what’s best for us.
Community led response to sex worker issues is best practice, it has proven to be effective, and frankly non-peer based initiatives are simply colonialism.
You are correct that sex worker advocates are usually the empowered ones, but where do you think they came from? While they are speaking publicly about sex work issues, they are also working to empower more workers to become advocates of the future, just as they were empowered.
‘What kind of industry do we have where these are the relatively common risks workers are exposed to?’
Why do you assume that it is a common risk?
Those reports detail the incidents experienced by some workers in the sex industry, and are indeed chilling, but they are also reports of bookings gone wrong. There are thousands of sex workers in NSW, and tens of thousands of bookings each year, these types of bookings are a minority.
I personally have never experienced anything like that, and while I do know workers who have had bad bookings, the majority of workers I know have not. This is hardly ‘common’.
It’s easy to take examples of clients abusing workers and say that the sex industry is about assault, just as you can take examples of men abusing women and argue that all men are rapists, that makes it sound interesting but it won’t make it true.
‘workers in brothels are definitely safer than these solo workers’
This is a common perception, but having worked in both studios and privately, I’d say that there really isn’t much of a difference. In fact I’d argue that working privately allows workers greater flexibility in some areas including decisions related to safety.
‘disempowering for all women, that men think of women as objects who can be bought’
Sex workers are not bought or sold. It is their service that is paid for. Clients do understand that, they tend to know a fair bit about the sex industry. I realise that many people see sex work as a passive encounter, that the client hands over the money to do as they please with someone’s body for an hour or so.
However, sex workers are being paid to provide a service, for their skills which involve a bit more than being penetrated. They provide massage, relaxation, stress relief, conversation, sexual stimulation and yes, sex. They decide what happens when and they are in charge and they structure the booking around what has been negotiated.
How boring would my work be if I were a passive object, I would be almost tempted to go and work in an office!
I’d also like to raise the issue about perceptions of workers and clients. Although the majority of sex workers are women, it is important not forget that there are significant numbers of male and transgender sex workers, and female and transgender clients.
It is easier to argue that sex work is about ‘men buying women’ when you ignore that the interactions between workers and clients of all genders are very similar. Aside from the mechanics of the booking, everything else is the same, and I really doubt that the female sex worker who provides a service for a male client is any less proactive than the female sex worker who provides a service for a female client.
I personally feel that sex between a worker and a client is a valid expression of sexuality, but I appreciate that there are many who do not. I’m sure they have strong arguments to support their views, but I have experience to support mine.
‘When I read the report (linked to in the post) on the Nebraska brothels I find that so disheartening’
I find reports on the Nebraska brothels disheartening too, but what can you expect from a country where sex work is illegal everywhere except a tiny area which is more about keeping sex work contained than decriminalising it?
People argue that ’sex work should be legalised so it can be controlled’. Let’s take a look at the differences between the states here in Australia.
In Queensland they seek to protect the public by legislating that pelvic exams for STI detection are necessary to work, even though doctors know that pelvic exams do not detect STIs and sex workers have proven in states where there is no mandatory medical testing that they are more than capable of looking after their own sexual health. Sex workers in this country have lower rates of STI infection the general community, because the have the knowledge and skills to protect their own health without legislation.
QLD private sex workers also must work alone, no other worker, no receptionist or driver.
Sex workers in Victoria are only able to work privately if they register on a database and apply for a licence exemption. Unfortunately the escort exemption is easy to get and the incall (working from your home or somewhere you rent for work) exemption is so difficult to get that less than a handful of workers have been able to succeed in the last decade. Resulting in a situation where workers have a choice of either working from a brothel, doing only escorts, or working illegally if they want to work for themselves at home.
The more restrictions you put on sex work the harder it is for sex workers to choose what works best for them. Each worker is different, and some prefer brothels, some prefer private work, some prefer street work, some do opportunistic work. It should be their choice, no one else’s.
‘Men in the general frequently don’t appear to show this respect for women, how much worse is it when they feel like they are buying that woman?’
OK, we’ve already been through the ‘buying’ aspect of this. Let’s talk about client attitudes.
Yes, there are some clients who have a very tedious attitude. Thankfully they aren’t that common. They come to a professional to be taken care of, not to exploit, to be pampered, not to cause trouble. They are nice guys wanting to have a nice time.
Seeing a sex worker is the opportunity to be spoiled, to have sex with a nice person who makes you feel special. There’s not many jobs out there these days that are based around making someone feel good, and I consider it one of the perks of the job.
Some find it to be a stress relief, they get to relax and have a nice time with no pressures from the rest of their life. Some take it as an opportunity to explore their sexuality and develop confidence. Some see it just as good romp without obligations. Many arrive incredibly nervous and feel better when you lead them through the booking without them needing to make decisions.
I know that people believe clients are bad people who will take every chance to misbehave. Even clients believe that, each one seems to think that they are the only nice guy I’ve ever seen. I can’t count the number of times a client has asked me ‘So do you get beaten up often?’, or upon seeing a bruise from bumping into furniture ‘One of your clients was rough with you?’. It is a bit irritating that people assume I’d do a job where I was routinely abused or disrespected, I’d like people to credit me with some intelligence and self respect. That’s part of the problem though, people assume that as a sex worker I must not respect myself.
‘Shelle, is there any part of you that has doubts about the sex industry, that wonder if its losses outweigh its gains? ‘
Yes, there is one aspect of this industry that bothers me, that makes me shake my head and gives me a little pain in my chest whenever I see it and I see it all the time.
Stigma.
When I first started working I decided that I would be out as a worker. Since then I’ve had to deal with the same thing over and over every time I meet a new person. The same tired stereotypes, the same ignorance, the same condescending attitude.
Upon meeting me most people at some point some out with ‘Of course most sex workers aren’t like you.’
Yes, they are. They are all people. They are wives, husbands, daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, lovers, friends and they are walking past you in the street and they are there at Christmas dinner and they are all frightened of you.
We all know what people think of sex workers. That we’re dirty, that we’re degraded, that we have no self-esteem and that we let people use us. That we’re immoral, that we can’t be trusted around someone’s partner, that we can’t be trusted around children, that we can’t be trusted around money. That we all take drugs, that we all drink, that we’re all uneducated and we only do it because we’re not good enough to do something else. We’re all beaten and we all have pimps and we all get raped regularly.
When we speak about sex work issues people say that we’re obviously not like all the other workers who everyone knows fit the stereotype. That makes it comfortable for people. That means they don’t have to accept that real people, real men and women they know, have chosen to have sex with strangers for money and are ok.
Some of the things people have said to me when they find out I’m a sex worker have been astoundingly offensive, and of course they have no idea because they are saying what everyone knows to be true. How can you possibly argue against ‘What some bloke down the pub told me’ and ‘This thing I read online’ and ‘That lot who put out a report about it’.
Because of what people say and think about sex workers, most aren’t out. They can’t be, they can’t afford it. They afford to risk an ex-partner finding out and using it as an argument in child custody. They can’t risk a future employer finding out and being refused work. They can’t risk a real estate agent evicting them. They can’t risk their parents or children finding out and deciding that suddenly that person isn’t the person they were yesterday. They can’t risk losing all their friends and loved ones.
So many sex workers have to lie, all the time. Lie about what job they are doing, lie about a big part of their life, lie about the experiences that are part of them. If they retire from the industry they still lie, for the rest of their lives, and always worry that the next person they meet will be someone they knew from the industry and the secret might come out.
Feminist gatherings in Australia are full of sex workers, hardly surprising given that sex workers tend become very independent, thoughtful and empowered after working in the industry for a while. They all sit quietly when the subject of sex work comes up because they are so worried that if they express a divergent view someone will accuse them of once being sex workers. That is how worried sex workers are, that is how frightened of exposure. With the likes of Sheila Jefferies shouting about her fantasies of sex work that’s not surprising.
You said you haven’t known many sex workers. I bet you have known quite a few. Isn’t that a shame?
While i respect that this is predominantly a feminist debate about the exploitation awomen in the sex industry, I urge anyone who discusses the industry to also remember the gay male sex workers. Here in Sydney, there are quite a few of us and its not an insignificant sector.
The debate, from what I can understand myself, comes down to the power dynamic. Who is in control, who has the dominant power position and is that being exploited, of particular concern to pro-feminists whose primary focus is on changing the power balance where its been unfavourable to women to the advantage of men. EEO laws have helped as have many other things and many of these imbalances are being addressed.
The sex industry is a particularly complex area to discuss as there are so many factors impacting. The sexual dynamics and power games played. The power inherent in any commercial transaction, the people paying versus the providers. The power dynamics of workers versus the bosses. Add to that the social stigma of sex work, the historic illegal status, the financial incentive of easy money with little or no training and historic inequities of women, people from non english speaking backgrounds etc etc..
Fundamentally for me, as a sex worker, the power exchanges and games between client and worker is of most interest to me. Having had a strong interest in BDSM, I have found for myself that the traditional concepts of who has the power and who does not, doesn’t always fit.
I’ve found it incredible interesting to see the power dynamic change back and forth while during the single act of giving head. At one stage, it can be my mouth thats being used solely for the pleasure of the giver. In another moment, the giver is totally at my mercy, with his pleasure, or lack of it, totally under my control. After all, all I need to do is close my mouth and my teeth with remove his organ! Then moments later, it shifts back again. This power dynamic of who has the power, who has the control is fundamental in this debate. On the one hand, the men (and sometimes women) who pay have the power becuase they have the money. At other times, its the opposite. They pay so much for a service, one that they value quite highly, giving total control of the situation to the worker and providing a great deal of financial gain and independance. There are some clients who become regulars, who over time, become dependant on the services and regularly fork out alot of money for their access, totally at the whim of the worker, almost enslaved by them! Thats one extreme and theres plenty of everything in between.
Balancing these power dynamics is trickly. The power dynamics of sex. The power dynamics of supply and demand. The power dynamics of gender and age. The power dynamics of bosses and workers. All things that sex workers need to negotiate for themselves. Not an easy task! And anyone who does should be congratulated for being capable of navigating such a complex environment! I’d like to see any top business exec to do the same!
People are being exploited in all industries, and for a wide variety of reasons. That alone is not justification for criminalising the industry. The real debate is what? A moral debate? Subverting male dominance? Many sex workers, male and female, would claim they subvert male dominance! Protect the few victims? Shutting the industry wont work but to just hide it.
Its really a debate about the sex and the nature of sex and the moral ethics of sex. All the other arguments are a smokescreen for that fundamental element, in my mind. All the other issues that are brought into the debate lead to confuse and create emotive and moral responses, but which can be dealt with like any other industry. The real element behind all this is the nature of sex. Can sex be had for pure, physical pleasure, with strangers, or not? And by whome.
And if it can, then a natural extension of that is sex work. If it cant, then the christian conservatives win the debate and sexual freedom that many of us now value is gone.
The other issues, commodification (for which I blame media as the most prolific promotor of) and exploitation of labour can, and should be deal with without the hysteria focusing on sex work.
And other random thoughts I had about this as I was writing it, which I found hard to streamline into the above… purhaps because its late and I’m tired and its such a complex topic!
One good benchmark could purhaps be to transpose any argument to the gay male sex worker industry, especially considering many gay male sex workers are over 25, up to around 55, and the power dynamics of male to male. Its alot easier to assume equality when its the same gender and age. Many clients are not much older and quite often younger than the workers! The annual incomes would not be so vastly different either. Equality in many of the areas that traditionally give power.
In these stituations, does the principals of the anti-sex work debate hold up?? And for those who are worse off, or being exploited or damaged, what have other industries done to address this? OHS? Trade Unions?
As with any industry, people pay for a product or service. At times the “power” lie with the provider, at other times with the purhaser. Regulation protects both from exploitation but prohibition does not allow this.
The debate around exploitation of women, the commodification of women and “dehuminising” of women is a big, important issue that so many factors contribute to. But blaming sex work is not the answer. Purhaps its just another form of paternilism to assume that female sex workers are less capable than male sex workers and need protecting? Purhaps its the assumption that female sex workers cannot be the predators, cannot be the exploiters or have the power in the situation because they are women? Or they cannot be consumers either?
The sexual dynamics and power plays between men and women will continue with or without sex work. But taking the choice away from women I dont think is an option. And community choices affects not just the female sex workers but also the male sex workers, for which many of these issues and reasons for criminalising the industry just do not apply.
PS, in a decriminalised industry, its actually alot harder to be a worker, I’ve found! Complying with all the legal requirements, tax laws and small business record keeping… If its all criminlised again, it will save alot of paper work and research and money (tax etc) for me! And I can just keep going as I used to!
Thank you Shelle and Kane, I have a lot to think about here and after I’ve had time to really digest it I might come back and add another comment. You’ve both reaffirmed for me that somehow my view of the sex industry has to always have room for the viewpoints of those in the industry. It is anti-feminist not to listen to and respect the views of women and men working in the industry. I’ve been worried that legitimising the industry has somehow aided the worst of the industry – sexual slavery (I still have those concerns) but I have to test my responses against those parts of the industry which are operating legitimately and from your own experiences, happily.
Kane, you really got stuck into teasing out some of the power dynamics in commodifying sex and your discussion was fascinating.
Shelle, the stigma; very, very good point. I remember talking to a few female workers in the industry when I was once researching an article, years ago, and when I asked them what was the worst thing about the job they always said it was the way women treated them, not men. Broke my heart. Feminism has to find a way to resolve its tensions without contributing to the hatred of women.
“Nebraska brothels”
Nevada, not Nebraska. Big difference.
Good on you iamcuriousblue. Thanks for correcting.
I’m going to very strongly disagree with you. “Sex positive” is entirely the wrong perspective and not at all a useful premise. Speaking here as someone who has (and does know) quite a few sex workers over many years (including living with two, and no not as a pimp) you’re not going deep enough to understand why women freely pursue the option.
And they do (by and large), do it freely.
On this one, the marxists are right:- it’s because there is an income disparity between men and women. So long as that difference in economic power exists, not even the most purist of free marketers would assert that there is truly free choice, only one of the selecting the best option from a selection of bad ones.
So long as women have to care for children or relatives, a certain number will choose to sell sex. (And female students in the industry are no different, they are simply choosing to compromise now in order to get an education to better support themselves and their families in the future).
This is no different from accepting any other job (even lousy ones) on the basis of necessity.
Do you remember the opening scene of “Resevoir Dogs” where the guy insists that Mr Pink tip the waitress? He explains that waitressing is the only job where a women with children to support but no skills or experience can earn the minimal amount of money she needs.
Well sex work is no different, just better paid (with one significant difference I’ll come to in a second)
Until this economic inequality is fixed you can’t deny people the ability to better themselves.
Ok, so to the difference. Legality. Or basically what economists call “market structure”.
An illegal market is one rife with exploitation. Specifically, it is one where contracts – agreements between economic agents – cannot be enforced except through violence. Clients rip off providers, brothel keepers rip of their workers, every idiot walking the street steals from them.
This leaves women, particularly foriegn women on dubious visas are at a huge disadvantage and driven into the arms of pimps who then provide the enforcement of contracts – often through violence – and frequently turn that violence on the women furthering their exploitation.
It’s not a nice picture.
The Australian situation with trafficking is also something that you’ve not entirely understood. In a number of Australian states prostition is legal (notably Victoria). In fact postitituion has always been legal for the women, only brothels and pimping were/are illegal. Procuring and soliciting (ie. clients approaching women) is also illegal throughout Australia.
For many years in the states concerned the industry has been regulated. Brothels are required to be registered, and their workers are subject to various health checks and so on.
In recent years however, trafficking has become a problem because of the rise of illegal brothels. This was a failure of enforcement of the regulatory regime, not legalisation in itself which worked very well for about 20 years. It’s also not been helped by the introduction a few years ago of “guest worker” aka 457 visas.
However, 457 visas are exploited by the unscrupulious for many other purposes – notably the creation of a virtual slave labour class of foriegn workers by some criminal employers – and is not restricted to sex work. It is criminal activity, not legalization, that is the problem.
Shoving the whole thing underground is not going to assist. Many years ago – pre-legalization – when I lived in a student household we took on a new housemate who was a prostitute. Very exciting at first for callow young men I can tell you, until she disabused us of any romantic ideas we might have had about the trade in a then illegal industry.
Since then, I’ve known other sex workers in other countries and had very close relationships with two others. Two things are notable from my experience here:-
1. The experience of exploitation of those workers was far higher and nastier in those countries where prostitution is illegal than those in which it is legal.
2. Even those workers who were illegal (ie. “trafficked” in the parlance) were doing the work willingly (more or less given the economic pressures).
That last point is very important in my view, and puts the lie to a lot of the trafficking propaganda (at least in western countries). Consider that these women are in private, intimate contact with a large number of men _who_ _have_ _money_.
And as is well known, a proportion (not a majority, but not microscopic either) of those men are “nice guys”, some of whom become regulars and even fall in love with their whores (”The whore with a heart of gold” romance story is not a myth).
Let me ask the question I’ve been leading up to. Given that many of these supposedly trafficked women establish continued relationships with men who have the ability and desire to help and support them, who they are often alone with, would fail to ask for help?
“It’s difficult to say” you might respond, “because the only evidence available is anecdotal”.
But you’d be wrong, because Italy has had a policy for some years now of granting residency visas to trafficked women who come forward.
Very, very few have done so (I think it was less than 20 in the first 18 months). Because there are very few such women – at least in western countries with good regulation.
Bottom line – the world is imperfect, people do not have equal economic power and many choices they make are a result of necessity. In such an environment, legalisation and regulation is a much, much better option for everyone.