Sometimes the distance between parents and non-parents is filled with insensitivities and resentments, and other times the gap is a serendipitous occasion for tourism.
A dinner party we attended this weekend with non-parent friends gave us some much needed time to think thoughts outside parenthood. We got lost in their conversations, which were so absent of children that it is wrong to characterise these friends as childless or even child-free, children just aren’t any part of their equation - extravagant world travel, directing and choreography, mathematics and history, Oxford University life.. and just a joyful luxury of time and energy.
It is not that I don’t enjoy a good discussion about parenthood, but it was refreshing to not have even the opportunity. Our conversations found topics both more trivial and more weighty than the work of parenthood. And it was so pleasant to drink with people who didn’t care what time they woke up on Sunday, and who could still talk about a sleep-in as rising anytime before midday.
Ah yes. The prospect of waking at 5.30am does take the fun out of a bottle of wine.
Of course, when I saw this post’s title, I was thinking about those parent dinners that you start cooking after the kid goes to bed rather than the sort where you go out. I think I’m a bit overdue for the latter.
We’re going out tonight though, my mother gave us a voucher for the local posh pub for Christmas. It took 6 weeks to get around to organising a babysitter, and our booking is for after the kid goes to bed. We should have organised someone else to come, to start the conversation, because we’re too tired to think of anything to say.
I don’t think I am capable of having a conversation that doesn’t eventually turn to parenthood anymore. Sounds lovely. As does the wine.
Ahh…the sleep-in. It’s something to dream about, i guess. Maybe when the child is a teenager…
I’m glad you had such a lovely evening (I’m not jealous. Honest!)
Kate- you can always talk about how great your kids are. This is what Al and I always end up doing. Constantly fascinating. We have also discussed whether we should buy a new car and when to do the weekly shop.