Advice because life is short:
Of all life’s big questions, a question you probably need not spend too much of your valuable time trying to figure out is this – which rapes have a “minor impact” on victims. The answer is probably none, and if you think otherwise you need to drop your drawers and volunteer to submit to a full smorgasbord of de-humanising possibilities to prove your point, an experience that will be enhanced by others telling you how inconsequential you must be finding it all. Even then your understanding will be incomplete; rape is non-voluntary for its victims.
Why do I bring this advice to you? Because Queensland Attorney-General Kerry Shine (you might remember the Attorney-General from his state prosecutor’s conduct in the infamous Aurukun child rape case) is certain that “some circumstances can be of minor, some can be of major damage to a victim”. What is he on about?
“They do vary in intensity from time to time.
“For example, a digital rape is a technical rape, but that is far less serious than an aggravated form of rape.”
Reassuring from the highest law officer in that state, no? Outrageous moments of sexism in the public sphere always come in twos. First there is the ‘gaffe’ itself and then there are the readers’ comments in mainstream newspapers.
Advice to readers of mainstream newspapers:
While there is no “minor impact”, there may indeed be varying degrees of “major impact” on victims of rape but imagining you can quantify it all from your computer chair is not the best use of your empathy (limited as it may be) for rape victims. Really. You all need not preoccupy yourselves further with envisioning various rape scenarios (ie. drunk or sober, virgin or sexually active, boyfriend or stranger, penis or finger) and matching them for best fit against your feeble list of adjectives. Spare us your judgemental little views on what a rape survivor might feel. Your ignorance is vast and there are so many other things of which you know equally little available for your trivialisation.
However, if one was to dedicate time to considering which rapes might have a “minor impact” on victims, where would one expect to find so many men with so much expertise on the impacts of rape on victims? A support group for male survivors of sexual abuse? Male employees of a specialised sexual assault response team? Or.. The Courier Mail comments page? …I hope you trusted in the good men of Queensland and their comments in the state’s broadsheet. (NB: the comments have subsequently improved in balance). (As opinionated as the male readers were I must give special mention to Julia’s comment, which I enjoyed for its optimistic reference to “the feminist industry”. You may wonder where we go for our commercial production and sale of feminism. Julia’s hint: expect to find a conspiracy of political correctness somewhere packaging up the belief that “all rapes are horrific”. Sounds a tad benign to me for an entire industry of feminism, but then Julia finds it quite the radical notion when she is arguing that some rapes are all beer and skittles. In fact, beer, or any alcoholic beverage, is a big part of Julia’s theory on the fun side to rape).
Finally.
Advice to Attorneys-General everywhere:
Invariably after the public ‘gaffe’ and the moronic chatter comes the final insult. Apologies I detest and which only make it worse? The “I’m sorry if this has offended you” apology. Used consistently in public statements and most readily by politicians, this is not an apology. A-G Shine gives us “If any offence has been taken then I unreservedly apologise”. Try this on for size instead, Shine-y one. “I was trying to explain something but in doing so said something very wrong and it offended people and because what I said was wrong, hurtful and deeply offensive I am unreservedly apologising”.
Ah, Queensland. Where it’s a crime to re-up a viral video that was aired in the mass media, but rape is only a “technicality”.
IMHO (and for once I mean that genuinely), there are rapes that have fairly minor consequences for the victim, but they are all about a specific interaction between circumstance, personality, personal history (both recent and long term) and no doubt 475 other things I can’t think of right now. They are in no way classifiable from the outside, or by comparing who put what where and after how many beers.
The A-G has missed the point if he wants to recognise that the impact from rape can cover a massive range, and perhaps recognise that a “minor” incident can result in a major impact. He made a ridiculous statement, and a truly appalling apology.
You just can’t simplify something like this. Knowing that it is possible for a rape to have minimal impact, doesn’t mean that anyone can classify that impact on the basis of scenario. Maybe this is where some of these people go wrong – they know someone in the “minimal impact” camp (maybe even themselves) but they mistakenly think it was the scenario alone that made it that way. Not even close.
The wisdom of Julia. Right up there with the schizophrenogenic mother and elective homosexuality. And dole bludging single mothers – god knows i’m one, and I have visible evil oozing out of every pore.
Actually, considering the anti women stuff that appears daily in the Herald blogs- even the mother and baby blogs! – (despite breaching term and conditions), I’m pleasantly surprised at how many men are right in there, saying the comment was inappropriate and offensive. (though i didnt read RIGHT to the end….)
Sometimes it’s a relief to see mainstream forums where a majority of people accept without question a woman’s right to bodily autonomy (and understand that a violation of that autonomy is distressing in any form) . It puts a bit of perspective on the ubiquitous MRA crazies. Maybe Julia could get a job working for MRA industries? They probably have a building right next to the giant feminazi hive….they could employ her to throw rocks at feminists.
Ariane – you’re spot on when you say that there isn’t the direct relationship the legal fraternity seeks between ‘types of rape’ and impact on victims. There is something deeply de-sensitising about trying to attach real live experiences to that model. Some very damaging rape myths stem from exactly this thinking – the idea that women who are drugged at the time aren’t as traumatised, that women who are raped by someone they are married to aren’t as traumatised, that women who work in the sex industry aren’t as traumatised, that men who get an erection while being raped aren’t as traumatised, that people incarcerated aren’t as traumatised. All bullshit.
I’ve heard many women (and a few men) discuss sexual assaults they’ve survived and some of them do it without emotion and others with much emotion, but however much they’d moved on/buried it/worked through it I never once thought they were referring to it as a “minor” event in their lives. While there are undoubtedly traumatic and very traumatic experiences for survivors I have trouble accepting that there are rapes with “minor impact”. I’m not interested in a thread here hypothesizing such rapes either – the Courier Mail thread is the place for that. I am only supportive of such discussion on this thread if a rape survivor raises it speaking from their own experience – and even then I’m not comfortable with any generalising of that experience. Otherwise let’s rely on the huge number of direct accounts we have from survivors of rape that attest to its trauma.
I take your point, which is why I was trying to be as careful as I could about saying it. I was raped, and at the time it shook me up, but it barely rates a mention in my past now. I would regard it as something that had a minor impact now. It would never occur to me to call myself a “rape survivor” – it was just something that happened.
One thing I failed to make explicit (although I meant to) in my original post is that I believe that there are cases that have a minor impact, but I have absolutely no opinion on their frequency. I think it would be fair to say that they might well be under-reported, as those less affected are less likely, in general, to talk about it and be active in the area. On the other hand, people highly traumatised might also be very reluctant to discuss it. So I might be one of a tiny handful, or there might be lots. I really don’t know.
The only reason I think the “minor impact” issue should be discussed (intelligently) is that *if* there are a significant number of people who have had such an experience, they might be having a bit of a “don’t tell me I was traumatised when I wasn’t” kind of reaction, and not thinking critically enough about this kind of nonsense from A-G. Not recognising that experience, whilst clearly not as bad as trivialising a truly horrific experience, is still denying an experience – and more importantly can result in people looking for someone who says something that resonates a little better with their experience. They hear the first part of the story and don’t listen to the rubbish that follows.
So I’m way with you on the de-sensitising perspective. It trivialises the whole issue to play such stupid games with circumstance.
Ariane I’m sorry to have backed you into a corner like that. Let me know if you feel your comment ever needs to come down. I don’t want to take away from the validity of your experience and reactions. I’m sorry about that also. You’ve made a very strong point.
I don’t like using the term ‘rape victim’ too much for the reasons you’ve outlined. A very close friend of mine survived an abduction and rape (horrific circumstances in even the A-G’s limited definition) and she is one of the strongest, most fearless people I’ve ever met. She is an extraordinary achiever in her job. I’m sure she wouldn’t embrace being defined as a victim. I also think many people would describe her as being not particularly affected by the rape, but knowing her closely I know otherwise.
In writing the post I really reacted to the example of “minor impact” rape that was used by the A-G. That digital rape couldn’t be equally as traumatic as other rapes is just so incredibly mistaken. I was also reacting to some of the comments left on the Courier Mail story. People saying that women they’d known were over it and not particularly harmed by a past experience of rape.. when the impact of rape is so insidious for so many people – contributing to eating disorders, addictions, problems of trust, flash-backs during labour/breast-feeding, acting out, bad relationships.. how can the outside observer always know for certain that it hasn’t been of ‘major impact’ on that survivor?
However, in saying all this I also want to leave room for your experience too.
Don’t worry, it really isn’t a big deal. The main reason I don’t talk about it much, is that people expect me to react as though it is.
I completely agree with all the things that you were reacting against, and also agree that only the person in question has the right to assess the impact they have felt – which is ultimately what is so offensive about this guy and his supporters.
Highly emotive issues are always hard to discuss. Everyone has a tendency to generalise more than we should from our own experience, but I guess that’s why we do need to discuss these things more. Kind of like miscarriages – one reason there needs to be more open discussion about it is that people need to realise that a huge range of reactions is possible and valid. Your response doesn’t make you a drama queen, cold hearted, strong, weak or anything else.