God, I am so sick of my Did porn kill sex? post leading my Top Posts list all the time. Enough. It is not even much of a post. All the damn porn Googlers are distorting my stats by clicking on this stupid post. Porn seekers, it is just a recommendation for a Naomi Wolf article. No tits and arse, what so ever.
And if it is not that post you’re putting on my Top Posts list then it is those posts of mine remarking on the funny traffic I get from misguided breastfeeding erotica seekers.
Am I just grumpy?
Since doing a post on free things to do in Melbourne, my paedophile googlers have been pushed down to number 15. But traditionally people come to my site looking for cakes – lizard cakes, where the wild things are cakes, barbie cakes, cricket bat cakes…
OMG. Tell me about it. I wrote a post about a penis cake that we took to a sex toy party (which ended up smashing all over the ground) and now I get people looking for kiddie porn.
My google visitors tend to be looking for a recipe, BBQ shopping and wondering whether 3 hours sleep is enough, or else they’re looking for the Evil League of Evil and its infamous leader Bad Horse.
How do you find out what people are looking for to get to your site? Or is it just something you can do on WordPress?
A little grumpy, yea.
But don’t worry, this post will soon surpass the other. Although you forgot to add “clit” or “cum” (did you graduate cum laude, perhaps?) to guarantee its popularity.
It never even occurred to me to think about google searches when I titled posts. It’s a good thing I’m so small, or my “Penises, vulvas, and other interesting things” post would likely get more hits.
(Ruth, you can get a site tracking code installed on your site. I have Google Analytics — though it doesn’t do much good when one changes one’s template and forgets to reinstall it. Not that I would know anything about that…)
ruth, you sign up for google analytics and it gives you a bit of invisible code to paste into your blog template. It is pretty easy. then you can see what terms people enter on google and also other ways they get to your site (like referrals from other websites, or coming directly (by typing your address into their browser, or because you’re one of their ‘favourites’ or whatever.) You can see how many visitors you get a month and what days you got the most hits. For a little while it is curiously addictive (and slightly disturbing, what with all the creative ways people look for porn), but I hardly ever check it now.
“Rolf Harris” recently overtook “ugly underarms” and “citrus syrup cake” for me. Who knew so many people were Googling Rolf Harris?
Actually, the music searches are the most likely to result in someone looking around my blog, which is not what I would have expected to be the ones that hooked people. Well, almost, I mean I wasn’t expecting the ones looking for naked pictures of the online “Ariane” computer game character to get ‘em in…
Am I just grumpy?
Yes, but it’s hot and you’re pregnant. I’m sure there are special dispensations. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
[I spent a lot of time controlling the urge to throw things, swearing and otherwise lying on the floorboards panting when I was pregnant last summer.]
I was shocked after writing a post of weird but wonderful inventions including “wings that onto one’s arms were strapped” – but of course, I used much less circuitous language. At least I haven’t suffered your problem bluemilk.