We had a one-on-one birth refresher course and during this session we discovered that I am still very much freaked out by my previous birth experience. Tears strained at my eyes. It has been almost four years since my long, painful posterior labour followed by a hemorrhage and I thought I’d moved on a little more. The midwife thinks I should maybe get some specialised birth counselling but I’m a little worried about unpacking all this now in my final trimester. If the counselling doesn’t resolve it then I’ll be left feeling even more anxious, and all too close to D day for my comfort. I’d rather just cram my head with good news birth stories – ie. I didn’t even know it was labour I thought it was indigestion, the whole thing was over in a matter of an hour and I was ready to go again. We both agreed that I need something to help me move past the fear. What about acupuncture, she suggested? Yeah, you got anything else in your bag of tricks because I am sitting next to the world’s biggest cynic here on the couch and I’m not sure I could handle the scoffing if I tried it, plus my own inclinations towards alternative medicine aren’t that strong at the best of times, let alone testing them out on the almighty fear of painful, painful labour. I suggested I talk to my obstetrician about some positive thinking techniques. Yes, good idea, she agreed. Though being of Chinese descent herself she may well have been thinking I’ll test my culture’s ancient medical knowledge against your half-assed affirmations any day, lady.
Then we watched a video of an elective cesarean and I pointed out how calm and non-traumatised the mother looked. (Although the father was a dill. He only had one job to do and that was noting the birth weight from the nurse and he stuffed that up). But wait, said the midwife, compare this to the vaginal birth video. This video was of an impressively stoic labour, and the panpipes soundtrack muting the screams during transition was a nice touch also. I had to admit that I liked the post-birth mother and baby bonding time better in the second video, free as it was of medical staff taking the baby off for vitamin k injections and suctioning and what not.
And that’s the thing. I was delighted with the outcome of our intervention-free birth last time, just not so fussed on the pain involved in the intervention-free method. Not fussed at all.
I’ve got 3 of my own fairly easy breezy birthing stories (no transition to speak of for any of them and the longest 2nd stage was 20 minutes) but my favourite one belongs to my brother’s wife.
When having her 3rd kid she arrived at the hospital (the birthing centre at RPA) and was settled into a room, my brother went to park the car and as he came back into the room my SIL was standing beside the bed and the midwife was on the other side of the room preparing equipment. Next thing they knew my SIL had one more big contraction, HAD to push and out slipped my niece before either the midwife or my brother could get there to catch her. She hit the floor head first, she was fine but we’re all looking forward to her being old enough to be teased about being dropped on her head as a baby – she’s 3 now, gorgeous kid.
mimbles – I think I love you. Thank you.
Oh, there’s a _whole world_ of pain involved in the interventiony method, it’s just not usually within the 20-30 minutes the C section takes. And they don’t show you the agony of separation or the despair of difficulty breastfeeding or the permanently deformed abdomen and numb patch from the wound, among other things. We get through it, sure, but it isn’t the happy-clappy joyful “easy” birth it’s marketed as.
Joyful birth stories – read the birth stories section of Joyous Birth, for one, and watch this. There are heaps of lovely birth videos on Youtube!
Does it help to remind yourself that your baby may well not be posterior this time? Do you have access to good midwives who can help with positioning and such? Maybe have a read around spinningbabies.com, too?
I’m sorry I can’t give you an easy birth story… not from a personal perspective, anyway (although if I’d not caved into induction might’ve been a different story) but have you read the likes of Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth?
Some beautiful and heart-warming natural birth stories in there.
Nulliparous myself, but family stories insist that neither of my mother’s labors lasted more than about two hours. My dad had to deliver me, actually (in spite of plans not to) because none of the other doctors were going to get there in time for the blessed event.
And, though I can’t speak from personal experience, everything I’ve heard suggests that an individual woman’s birth experiences can be so, so different from one another.
My first was a posterior, back-labour, pethidine-injecting, episiotomy-cutting, vacuum-assisted birth. I couldn’t sit down for two weeks and breastfeeding was incredibly painful for at least a month. It sucked.
My second birth, just four months ago, had not a single hiccup. Only four hours from active labour to delivery and I wasn’t even in pain until I hit transition. I was 7cm and sitting outside in my garden eating lunch and laughing. The pain only got intense once I was nearing complete dilation and lasted all of an hour before I pushed my son out in a birthing pool in my dining room. Breastfeeding was much easier to establish this time and I didn’t even get so much as a sore nipple, even though he had a severe tongue tie. I did require a few stitches afterwards and opted not to have any drugs for that either and, to be honest, that hurt worse than the birth! Was that ‘easy breezy’ enough for ya’?
Keep reading positive stories and thinking positively while having a back-up plan to address your fears and you’ll be fine.
Oh Amity, your second birth story is actually making me feel *very* broody!
My first labour was ditto Amity’s: intervention all the way and not pleasant.
My second was a surprise home birth: three hours in the bath with minimum pain reading Harry Potter, 20 minutes transition, three pushes and out – all while husband was downstairs de-icing the car. Luckily I had a doula with me!
The third was a planned home birth – six hours of reading and bathing, one hour transition and about five pushes.
The second was definitely the easiest, as I hope yours will be.
So nice to have an opportunity to relate happy birth stories! I always feel like a jerk talking about my great birth experience.
L and I took a hypnobirthing class as our birth prep – they too gave us the whole silent, orgasmic-type birth show (also, a video about some Russian group that gives birth in the Black Sea. THAT was something.) However, our teacher emphasized thinking positively about the experience, recognizing that all female animals give birth and only humans freak out about it, all that. This is very useful for people like us who had never been pregnant before so needed to get rid of the non-personal socially-generated fear of labor. In particular, she frequently made reference to this image of a pregnant deer going off into a safe space in the woods, lying down, giving birth quietly all by herself, knowing what to do and being fine with it. We did daily relaxation exercises and guided visualizations of our cervices opening, contractions (which were called “surges”)and birth. The relaxation exercises were really fabulous and a nice time to chill with your partner.
So one evening while we were watching Heroes, I got up and went to the toilet, realized that there was some weird fluid besides urine coming out of me, stood in the shower as my water broke and yelled to L that it was happening. I called my doctor and she said to go to the hospital even though I wasn’t having any surges yet. As I got into the car, they started to come. We checked into our room in the hospital and met our nice, mellow labor nurse; I got into hot tub and had L pour water over my back, repeating relaxing phrases, while I started having really frequent surges. The nurse suggested I get into the bed and I started to feel the need to push. Every time I did I bellowed loudly, but still imagined the deer, and felt good. I felt like a very loud deer. A loud, yelling deer. D emerged just after the doctor made it in the door. He was born about two and a half hours after I took my Heroes bathroom break.
Also, like Amity, I needed some stitches afterward (apparently tears frequently occur when they come out really fast) and getting stitches TOTALLY hurt so much more than birth.
Love all these posts lately and comments.
I had a very difficult labor and admit to being very afraid for the next too. I’ll have to work on that for a second baby too. Hugs.
BUT I have a friend here who’s daughter is almost two. She said she barely felt any pain! Didn’t even realize she was in labor until she “couldn’t stop peeing” and it finally hit her that her water broke. Few pushes, no pain so much. Wow. She’s 12 weeks pregnant now with twins!
My first was a very easy, breasy labor and birth. I just hung out at home, riding the waves, soaking the tub, and napping when I could until the very last minute. Transition, of course, was a whole ‘nother story. LOL But after that it was back to no biggie and after birth was like floating on a cloud.
Now me second was in a hospital and all sorts of issues and episodes for no reason other than the doctor felt it was her job to be a bitch. That’s why I’m staying home for this one. LOL
The first of my friends to have kids had a first labor much like yours. With her second, she was having a few contractions, felt like walking, and headed out around the block with her husband. About halfway down the street, her water broke. She went home, started timing things, fed her two-year-old breakfast and about three hours later went to the hospital. At this point the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. She felt the need to push in the elevator, got to the delivery room, pushed for maybe 10 minutes and had the baby. Went home in time for dinner. That baby went to the Inauguration last week as part of a high school honor group.
Early contractions felt like I needed to pee. No, really, I remember getting up several times in the night because I had to pee, sitting on the toilet with three or two or nary a drop, thinking “geez, I know 41w pregnant women need to pee frequently, but this is getting silly”, and finally cluing in after several hours of this that it was happening every 20 minutes or so, and might not actually be due to needing to urinate.
Got up with The Man at maybe 7am, decided he wasn’t going to go in to work, but we weren’t going to say This Was It.
Decided around 10am that even if it wasn’t, I wanted the darn tub set up (I’d been lusting over being in water nonstop for days by then). It’s set up by noon. About an hour later, I’m in labor for realz. A couple hours later we tell the midwives to get up here. About 5pm the apprentice comes, and calls the primary midwife with the news I’m pushing. (I say I wasn’t pushing, my body was.) I’m hanging out in the tub, and yes, smooching on The Man and getting seriously in the zone, singing “come baby come baby baby come come”. His head comes out at 6:32pm, and my membranes finally rupture. I spend a couple contractions emptying my uterus of water (again, nothing deliberate, my body is just doing its thang), then out he slips, in the caul, into The Man’s hands, quickly passed to me, at 6:35. I brush off the membranes over his face, and am shocked and amazed to see not just a baby, but THIS baby, my baby. I start crying and laughing with joy. The primary midwife shows up at 6:40pm, comes in to look, then goes and hangs out in the hallway with the apprentice, leaving us to our bubble.
We spend 10 minutes just exclaiming over him and falling hard in love, then check his sex, and another 20 minutes of just staring at him, before I want to get out of the tub.
Four hours later, after totally cleaning up and feeding us (and weighing him — 10lb 6oz, which explains the longish pushing time, though it didn’t feel like it at the time, and I had no tears), which was all there was for them to do really, the midwives leave, and we’re all just snuggled in bed.
We order out for pizza.
I can’t say there wasn’t pain, but there was SO MUCH joy and love and pleasure, that yes, I wanted to do it again right away (not have another kid, just hit rewind and experience it just like that again), because it was just so amazing.
Ooh, I will be back when I have more time to give you my delightful story! Just wanted to recommend some reading for you too (apologies if you’ve already been there…) The great book ‘Labour of Love’ by Gabrielle Targett has lots of positive reading and a focus on natural birth. The book ‘Birth Skills’ by JuJu Sundin was a hard sell for me at first because it has Sarah Murdoch splashed all over it but actually it’s very good – I know a few people, me included, have felt like it gives a good ‘tool box’ of natural pain management ideas – might give a bit more confidence.
I think this might end up being your most popular post bluemilk!
Like many of the other stories here, first birth was long, “backy”, painful haze of intervention: induction, gas, drugs, epidural, forceps, you name it! I too, was very scared of birthing a second time! I was demoralised too as I wanted a durg fee experience in the birth centre of the hospital.
I think some women, and Im one of them, take a while to trust their bodies to do what they must do. For me, my second birth was also long, but i wasnt trying to make it perfect. I tried to have as few expectations as possible. I had a great midwife who gave me ‘permission’ to take a long time, (ummm…4 days). This meant being in full on late first stage contractions, and when they stopped, go home and sleep. Eventually our second child was born with no drugs, or other interventions, and it was a posititive (albeit lengthy) experience!
I couldn’t believe how much easier it was the second time around – partly because I trusted it was going to end. I also was a very loud deer!
I ended up being induced (ARM) because Jet was 11 days late and my amniotic fluid volume was low, but the midwives helped me avoid a drip induction so I could stay in the birth centre and escape the intervention cascade. Membranes ruptured at 4, little baby at the breast by 11.
Unlike some of the others I didn’t find the transition more painful – I relished it, because I KNEW IT WAS NEARLY OVER! AWSUM! I said to the midwife afterwards that I’d really got into the transition, and had been thinking a lot of things directed at my little baby to encourage him to come out. “No, dear, you said them! It was quite beautiful, actually.”
Home within 12 hours of delivery.
You need to be strong, but you are strong. Get whatever help helps.
1. While generally in relationships it’s all about the sharing and compromise, in labour your job is getting the baby out, and your partner’s job is to do whatever the hell you want him/her to do that will help you get the baby out. This includes not making annoying spluttering noises if soap drips into his orange juice from the dispenser while you’re in transisition because spluttering noises will distract you from your focus. If you need meditation, or acupuncture, or visualising rainbows, his job is to pretend he’s not cynical. That’s what ’support’ means in this context.
2. Every birth is different. Just because the last one was posterior and traumatic doesn’t mean the next one will be.
3. My Mum had a posterior labour first time round too. And a crappy doctor who didn’t even explain to her that that’s what was happening. Next time round she had a new doctor and a much easier time of it. She’s still kinda convinced that birth needs intervention and a week of bedrest, but her second and third labours were a lot easier than the first. Two outta three aint bad huh?
4. I had occasional contractions from mid-afternoon, easily managed with hot packs and showers, contractions got more intense around 6am. I felt an urge to push and declared we were going to the birth centre, I was in the birth pool for a couple of hours just trying to focus on my body and what it needed to do. I got out of the pool around 10 (wish I hadn’t though, stupid hospital policy) and the lad was born about 10.20am. The pushing was painful but ok, purposeful, being checked to see if I needed stitches was awful. Much worse, somehow. I didn’t need stitches. I don’t think I have any particular superpowers, I was fortunate to get a midwife I gelled with and trusted. If I’d do anything differently it would be to get a private midwife so I had consistent care. Meeting my midwife on the day of the birth worked out ok for me, but it’s a bit hit and miss. I’d also get myself some regular meditation. Preferably somewhere that doesn’t mention rainbows because that sort of thing is offputting for me.
I loved giving birth to Grace. Her actual delivery was a high point of my life. Although the labour was pretty hard at times. I went through the usual I don’t want to do this anymore, vomitting, shitting etc. My mum was my birth attendent, my partner was there but he wasn’t contributing to the energy in the room, so I sent him to have a sleep in the waiting room and he came back right after Grace was born. It was all about what I needed.
I was lucky to have a fantastic midwive and very few interventions, a bursting of the amniotic sac and a small cut when I was banding. I also had plenty of gas and a shot of pethodine which worked well for me. If it had gone on too much longer, I think I would have had an epidural. There is only so much pain I could bear. I was really lucky I think that labour more or less progressed how it did.
Oh and the prenatal yoga kind of helped. As did the yelling. I thought that was a pretty natural response to the whole birth experience.
I’ve heard second babies are often easier to deliver. Let’s hope this is the case for you!
My second labour was very easy. I didn’t realise I was in labour until the pains were coming a few minutes apart and lasting a couple of minutes. That was when Al suggested we stop watching the series return of the West Wing (double episode!) and call the midwives. They suggested sooner rather than later. I went in, jumped straight into a tub and Nell was born about an hour later with three pushes. The pain was never so intense that I felt I needed relief, and there was no tearing at all.
The thing was, leading up the labour I was terrified. Labour with Lucy wasn’t dreadful and so I thought I’d used up my share of good births. But I hadn’t, not at all.
Some people get a good birth, as all these comments attest too – why not you?
If you don’t have enough book recommendations yet, I’ll give you one more. I’m sure you have plenty of reading time. “Birthing from Within” was my favourite during pregnancy. Its focus is really about facing up to fears about birth and dealing with them, cos most of us have got some. The birth you end up getting is dependent on so many things, but its how you deal with it that matters. I hope this helps.
While both of my births were great and non -interventionist, (good midwives, reading about natural births and some preparatory yoga/mediating – practice for the focus on breathing that I used to get through) a friend of mine gave birth last week an ended up in the News! Her first labour had gone on for four days, so when she started cramping with her second she was in no hurry to get to the hospital. She dropped her son at daycare and had plans to go swimming and do other stuff, but she felt ‘funny’ so she decided to take a shower, her husband wanted to go the hospital then but she thought she’d have a lie down. Husband had a look and realised that she was crowning! So he calls the ambulance and the phone went dead. She delivered their second son at home on their bed (and then required a new mattress – handy hint for those it similar position tarpaulin or shower curtain covered in towels will save the mattress) and went by ambo to hospital for third stage and then after a check over her and baby they all came home that afternoon.
Another friend of mine had a ten hour hard labour for baby number one, with number two mild pain started at 7am, 9:30 she’s in enough pain to decide that she should get to hospital, hospital at 10am and baby girl born at 10:15am. Her midwife was delivering another baby in another room, came in to see how she was going when she arrived – ended up catching the baby and then going back to her other delivery!
Zip my lip. My second birth was harder than my first.
I would politely advise being prepared. I wish I’d done a bit more of a refresher (reading and exercises and maybe some hypnobirthing stuff, squats under water, more sleep etc). I also wish I’d had them break my waters a bit earlier instead of hanging on, going 2 weeks over and going naturally into labour at 10.30 at night, already exhausted. I blithely assumed because I aced birth the first time round I’d be fine the second.
Having said that, I am immensely proud I birthed my 10 pound posterior baby naturally and with no drugs. And it was only one night of my life (and hers). And by god she was worth it.
I second the recommendation for ‘Birth Skills’. I too was dubious at first (and I do find some of the language a bit off-putting — assuming the partner is a hetero male, no mention of home births, etc..) but I do think some of the techniques discussed are very useful. I found the stress balls and vocalising tips incredibly useful and in the end all I needed to see me through was a squeezy red ball and my voice. My neighbour (who heard the whole thing) commented later that I should be an opera singer.
I’ve had two great births, and like Emily I feel a bit awkward talking about them…
The most recent one, last July, involved very dealable contractions starting early in the morning (so dealable I drove into town and back to do our taxes) and lasted all day. I was keen to get my older son into bed for the night before we left for the hospital so we hung around home until my waters broke a bit after 8pm. My baby was born at 10.22, 45 minutes after we arrived at the hospital birth centre. It was only after he was born that we realised he was posterior, I’d had no back pain.
I’d second the recommendation for Ina May Gaskin, although I’d go with Ina May’s guide to childbirth rather than Spiritual Midwifery. She’s totally hippy trippy but there are loads of positive stories.
Awwwwwww I seriously love these stories.. and the book suggestions, thanks everyone. We read a lot last time through our birth centre library but I definitely need some inspiration for positive experiences.
Gaskin is brilliant. She is seen by some as a “hippy”, but she is thoroughly grounded, outcome-focussed (but not at the expense of women), and she has the results to prove it. She is engaged with the obstetric and hospital-midwifery communities, on her own terms, always standing up for women and standing against patriarchal concepts of birthing care. And sensible OB/mids who aren’t up themselves and obsessed with control and turf wars respect her greatly.
I think she is also the only midwife (and possibly one of the very few women?) with a textbook ‘medical’ manoeuvre named after her, the Gaskin Manoeuvre, involving repositioning to a hands and knees posture – though nowhere near enough people are taking her approach to shoulder dystocia, preferring instead to keep women on their backs and cut them wide open.
I birthed my son on my hands and knees and it worked a lot better than when I birthed my daughter lying down. I also felt like I had a better understanding of what kind of pushing to do. The first time I didn’t push with much force. But the second time, even though he was bigger, he was easier to get out since I was pushing correctly and in a better position. There was a lot of wasted energy during my daughter’s birth. I love Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth. I think it’s true what Emily said about the deer. Humans can imagine the future and freak ourselves out by not living in the moment. But other animals concentrate on “now” and do what’s required instead of fretting about what’s coming next.
Just think of it this way: one way or another, the baby is coming out. Don’t worry about the method too much.
Also, I had a caesar, I was feeling perfectly well after a couple of days (I was driving my car & walking my dog), my son & I bonded beautifully, breastfeeding is going extremely well and I have a teeny tiny scar. So if that’s the way you have to go, don’t stress, it will be fine.
just thought I’d add to my comment, my obstetrician (an old-ish man) told me that in his opinion, women who are utterly determined to have natural drug-free births are “setting themselves up for post-natal depression” because intervention is so often required and these women feel that they have failed (this conversation happened when I learned that my son was large & breech so a caesarian was recommended – I ended up having an emergency caesar when my water broke at 35 weeks). We also discussed the massive focus on birth in ante-natal classes which is really disproportionate to the amount of discussion of/information about dealing with babies. Really, getting the baby out is going to take a maximum of a couple of days, but you’ve got the baby for life.
[...] Jump to Comments I was going to save this story for a post on Bean’s birthday but this post by blue milk got me thinking. Positive birth stories really do carry power, and not just for helping the [...]
I had a great birth – it was a waterbirth at home surrounded by 4 midwives (2 of whom were students), my mom, sister and partner. It was powerful, intense and lovely and about 9 hours in total. It was my first birth and I partially prepared by reading Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth. The stories in it built up my strong faith in the ability of women’s bodies to give birth. The only thing I don’t like about it is how it refers to contractions as ‘rushes’. To me this is not helpful as I think women need to be prepared for the pain, understand its purpose and trust that they are able to cope with it. Calling it a nice name does not change what it is. My coping strategies were to focus on the contraction and pain as a powerful and purposeful message that my labour was progressing. As the contractions get stronger and more intense it means that the cervix is opening and the baby is moving down -this is what needs to happen and unlike other forms of discomfort, in labour it is a sign that things are working. It encourages us to get up and move around – to move in response to the pain helps the baby rotate and move down the birth canal. Instead of resisting this, I tried to welcome it. Let go instead of holding on.
Not sure I am helping here – it is much harder to know via print as I used to explaining it to women in person when I can gauge how they are reacting to my words.
Trust
I’ll just add one more “first baby nightmare, next two pretty free and breezy” story. #1 was days and days, including 3 hours of pushing. Blue baby who I seriously thought was dead. All good in the end though.
#2 and #3 were both over in 4 hours or so start to finish. Turns out pethidine is an excellent plan for me – took me from 7cm to pushing in about 10 minutes. Barely had time to get to the baby, no noticeable effects, despite them looking hard for them. And pushing didn’t hurt too much, it felt primarily like relief. I recommend the gas for stitches.
I do recommend a labour longer than 3 contractions though, that seems to cause chaos.
Hi-
I just stumbled across your blog and will be adding it to my blog reader.
Since you asked, here’s a link to my own “good news” birth story. http://kenandbelly.blogspot.com/search/label/birth . Mine was great, easy (considering). It was in sort of the quiet deer mode some of the other comments describe. In a hospital, but drug-free, pretty fast, and empowering. The OB was basically only there to help me try some different positions and put in a few stitches after the fact. For me, the second birth (if I have one, which I hope I will in a couple more years) will probably go even better because I’ll be able to envision things so much more clearly, which I think helps to move things along.
read your comment, claire, and felt i had to reply.
I heard a lot of this too, when I was in hospital with number one child and was refusing an induction. My blood pressure had risen, and it was decided – in the next room, though loudly enough for me to overhear – to ’stick her in and induce her.’
I did end up with a ‘normal’ birth, she came 2 weeks after due date, in 3 hours, on my own terms. She did not have long fingernails/peely skin look that late babies sometimes have. I believe she came right when she was supposed to.
the only problem was after 2 weeks in hospital being badgered, bullied, told that ‘babies die in nature’ and hearing comments similar to the ones you’re quoted, I was all ready so depressed that i didnt even want to see her after she was born.
Giving birth is a massive event in a woman’s life, an extraordinary experience. It’s dramatic, it’s extreme, and I believe it stays with you.I’m glad you are happy with your birth experience, but not everyone feels the same way, and really should not have to be told ‘ well, she’s happy, so stop complaining. My daughter is now 18, and i remember her birth with a physical shudder- i had felt so under attack at the time – yet those months of crying afterwards are a blur, they’ve all run together – i have other, happier memories of her as a toddler.
You have a relationship with your child for life, but the experience of birth can colour that. A distressing birth, a birth where you feel you are not being listened to, where you have to defend yourself in some way, can feel like a violation and will effect your parenting… parenting is a relationship governed by feelings as much as it is anything else.
Yes, sometimes intervention happens, but there are doctors who are compassionate, understanding and able to work with you. The wonderful woman obstetrician who saw me for my 3rd pregnancy discussed my history of high blood pressure and explored possible contingencies with me to get a sense of how I would like to be treated if intervention was required.
your obstetrician sounds like a patronising, controlling old man to me. a ’shut up and let the medical staff make the decisions’ kind of guy. I am sickened by the way our concern for the safety of our babies gets used to coerce us into giving birth in a way acceptable to the doctor, even if it feels wrong, frightening or unnatural to us.
I still think the answer is MORE education, more discussion and more understanding,- and this time the doctors should be educated in emapthy as well.
Out of three births, the first one was the simplest, with the least complications and it was by far the most distressing.
My second birth should have been a nightmare, because we were so worried about the health of the baby – I delivered a premature boy naturally, after discussion with several doctors (because of out of control blood pressure.)
but i was included in the discussions, i had all my options explained to me and my opinion on the matter was treated with respect. I was told it would be touch and go for my son regardless of the birth… that caesarian wasnt any guarantee at all. he was a good size for a premature baby (32 weeks) and as it turned out, an induced birth was much quicker – they were still struggling to get the cannula into my arm to deliver the oxytocin when he was born. (after 5 contractions – in 5 mins.)- they used a gel to open the cervix and broke my waters… he arrived very quickly. We had a worried week by his humidicrib till they gave him surfactant for his lungs – an experimental drug a the time – which saved his life. they were incredibly supportive, fed him with my expressed milk ( i expressed so much, they asked me to donate the excess!) ..they weren’t so great on the breastfeeding (some of the nurses just insisted premmies dont breastfeed because they have no sucking reflex, but we did it anyway, and he came home after 4 weeks completely breastfed.)
My last was born at 36 weeks,which was a good birth despite the fact the doctor on call told me her heartbeat was dipping and broke my waters during his 5 minute exam, then having done that, announced her heartbeat had returned to normal, oh ,dear she must have been holding on to the cord for a minute, and he’d now leave me to get on with it. Some bad contractions, but pushing her out was wonderful… an amazing experience.
I had pethidine in 2 of my births. It worked really well for me.
Advice, find someone you trust and talk about what can go wrong, about your worries, about the fear of not being able to cope… put it all out there and talk about what help you think you might want, and the best way to give it to you. talk about what happened with the other birth and how you’d manage it again. make sure you have some one who is sympathetic to your needs, so that if a caesar becomes necessary you KNOW that the decision was made by someone who genuine believed it was the only option at the time, not someone you think might have preferred a caesar to begin with and was just looking for a means to get there.
I am in love with you all – thank you for these stories and book suggestions!
What amazing birth storys – i’m 32 weeks pregnant myself so have been checking out lots of mummy blogs; theres loads of great ones here too http://my.bounty.com/blogs/tabid/54/Default.aspx He’s my first baby – im hoping reading other peoples experiences will make everything ok, lol, probably not but its helping so far! Hope your feeling ok now xxx
You’ve probably had your baby by now, but I just had to reply. I’ve had the 2 easiest births I’ve ever heard of other than one on the laura’s freebirth website where the mama is baking banana bread and the baby just falls out, lol. Some people that I’ve told about my births think I cheated or something, but I don’t know how that would work lmao!
My first labor was only 2 hours 15 minutes start to finish. I was 10 cm when i got to the hospital(I pretty much stopped hurting then for some reason) and had her 40 minutes later. Pushing didn’t hurt at all either.
With my second it was only ONE hour 15 minutes! I was only 6 cm when I got to the hospital this time but delivered her 15 mins later. It was awesome, I didn’t push at all(fetal ejection reflex; and again didn’t hurt AT ALL), my body just took over and in 3 short pushes she popped out and a nurse caught her. The doctor didn’t make it for a few minutes, when she got there she laughed and called me a speed demon.
Now I had issues with the nurses(hospital birth in general!) and things but the actual birth was simple. I am not having a third until we are living somewhere with midwives, and I think the baby WILL just fall out next time!!!
Jessica W. – still pregnant here… and loved your story. Thank you!
[...] to leave the glow of their optimism and the nurturing warmth of my computer screen. In an effort to improve my response to birth after my previous experience of a long, posterior labour I am seeking out the most contented looking birth videos I can find and cramming them into my head. [...]
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