Inspired by Montessori fantasies we re-organised the children’s play room. I say re-organise but you may say “a motherfuckin’ throw out” were you to have seen it for yourself. During the event the children’s father, up to his knees in stuff, stood in the middle of the play room and wondered aloud what are we compensating for exactly? I mean are we feeling guilty about spending six months away from the kids on the French Riviera or something, because why this fucking multitude of stuff? I agreed, we’ve got deep-seated issues somewhere. If we weren’t buying so much stuff for the kids we could afford therapy and work that shit out.
I try to do the one thing in one thing out, but it never works. Generally it’s “I am so sick of picking this up, it’s going and I’ll never have to pick it up again”. Also, I’m not sure what type of post-apocolyptic future I’m planning for, as long as it starts next week, but my kids will have plenty of t-shirts and undies when it hits. That is the only explanation I can give for the fact that they have so many.
My kids are 5, 8 and 9, and I’ve found that they really do use 20% of their stuff 80% of the time. They like dress-ups, dancing and crafts. The rest can go.
I recently took a carload of toys (all the stuff they never touched during six week holiday at home) to the op-shop. The kids didn’t even notice. I realised I’d been holding on to toys that I like, but the kids never used. I did keep some toddler toys for visitors – bit silly, but our visitors expect to play with certain toys. Soon the visitors can take their favourites home with them. Ah yes – the op-shop – the place where all the unwanted gifts go. They are crammed full of toys. Especially soft toys. All eventually going to landfill. The trick is not to allow these things in the house in the first place. Before buying anything we ask ‘where does it come from and where does it go?’ And then, not buy it.
I enjoy the process of tossing out, de-cluttering, organising or so well put “a motherfuckin’ throw out”. I go through the kids wardrobes twice a year at the end of summer / autumn and again at the end of winter / spring. I’m anticipating Good Friday as watch out wardrobes here I come (I do the same with mine but not as ruthless as I need to be). I try not to purchase any clothes for the upcoming season until after this clean out so I know what I have kept and what is needed. All cupboards get done annually and I regularly do the discarding of the bits and pieces kids seem to pick up and treasure for a day or two and then forget about it (cue me sweeping into the bin when their backs are turned or lights are off). I usually have a bag in the laundry where items that are too small go and when that bag is filled off to the op shop. I’m not a big one for toy shopping (I avoid the layby in August for Christmas as inevitably something new comes along or the children have outgrown etc) and yet they definitely do not go without (nod to birthdays and gifts received from friends & family). This year I’m planning a clean out of toys around September the kids are now 6 & 4.5 so good bye all things toddler & baby (can you tell that I’m excited!!).
I have no trouble throwing out (or sending to the oppie if it’s still good) stuff I have procured for the kid myself. Ditching all the presents that are surplus to requirements is harder and I find it confronting, all that stuff symbolises the differences between me and some of my relatives, our ideas about value and wealth/poverty and fun. It’s easy if something breaks, although we do try to teach the kid that you try to fix things before you chuck them, but there’s a whole lot of stuff that was never very good but that I feel there’s some sort of statute of limitations on when I can ditch it.
Yes, like Kate it is the bloody presents that get us. We have bought Lily very little, but she has ridiculous amounts of stuff – especially soft toys. In her first year of life she was given around 20 of the bloody things and most of them are big. But stupidly I found it hard to get rid of them, because I didn’t want to offend anyone and now she is so attached to all of them. She notices if one is missing immediately and it really upsets her.
We had a huge declutter last weekend. And it felt soooo good.
The kids seem to play with only a few of their toys – they have their favourites they play with most of the time. They prefer helping to bake, or clean or they like to help with gardening.
They don’t need tonnes of stuff. But it doesn’t stop us buying the tonnes of stuff for them in the first place…!