Image of Toni Morrison from here.
Feeling sentimental – go easy on me, my last baby just turned one and I am not yet returned to my usual cynical state – and thinking about motherhood and how very much I still love this quote from Toni Morrison (which also appears in my ’10 things about feminist mothers’ page):
There was something so valuable about what happened when one became a mother. For me it was the most liberating thing that ever happened to me. . . . Liberating because the demands that children make are not the demands of a normal ‘other.’ The children’s demands on me were things that nobody ever asked me to do. To be a good manager. To have a sense of humor. To deliver something that somebody could use. And they were not interested in all the things that other people were interested in, like what I was wearing or if I were sensual. . . . Somehow all of the baggage that I had accumulated as a person about what was valuable just fell away. I could not only be me -– whatever that was -– but somebody actually needed me to be that. . . . If you listen to [your children], somehow you are able to free yourself from baggage and vanity and all sorts of things, and deliver a better self, one that you like. The person that was in me that I liked best was the one my children seemed to want.
Wonderful quote and I love that image of her. Yes I’ve always felt that I became the person I liked best because that was the person Angel wanted. It is a hard thing to give up.
Nice.
what an amazing quote! wow! it’s just reverberating around my head..
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Summerm and Stephanie Burgis, Angela McDaniel. Angela McDaniel said: RT @summerm: Sharing: The most liberating thing that ever happened to me http://bit.ly/aUlbod [...]
Halleluyah! Liberation indeed,
What a wonderful, wonderful quote.
Thank you for posting this. It’s a really great angle to come at motherhood from, particularly at a time when the demands of a toddler seem almost too much sometimes. It really helps to see it in this way, as a complementary thing. He needs, I can give. And it’s true, I do like who I am when I find the groove of this relationship.
Thank you so much for this. I absolutely agree. There is nothing more liberating than making huge decisions that involve shepherding a new life into the world, and helping shape that individual to be a member of society. It radically changed my interaction with the world in a macro way, and with individuals in my life.
Although I was a bleeding heart liberal since I could remember consciously rejecting my parents’ conservativism, it completely changed my perspective on social justice issues. Not only was police brutality wrong on a philosophical level, but that victim who was being hit was SOMEONE’S CHILD.
And yes, I do strive to be a better person as a parent. I used to be oblivious about my physical belongings. Really irresponsible about appointments and being on time. I would replace my driver’s license once a year. I would constantly lose my keys, and usually didn’t even own a purse. I don’t think I have lost my wallet once since becoming a mother 11 years ago. I actually hold on to sunglasses for a little while! I am a firm believer in leading by example, so I tend to be very reflective on my behavior, especially in front of my children.
[...] blogger stuff (I save that for Facebook!) but I can’t resist linking to blue milk’s post about motherhood with a wonderful Toni Morrison photo and quote. Please go read it, it is a sentimental (and not revolutionary, but in a way, revolutionary) [...]
Thank you…I’ve just started a herb/vegetable garden, I now recycle EVERYTHING, I try my hardest not to swear and have noticed that possessions mean less and less. I love the person she makes me.
[...] quote from Toni Morrison (which I got from here): There was something so valuable about what happened when one became a mother. For me it was the [...]
[...] work and I have talked about that all over the place on this blog (like, here and here and here and here), because the way Morrison defined motherhood as freedom was a profound insight for me. As I have [...]