Bill: Yes, that’s my penis. You have a penis and I have a penis. We both have penises.
Cormac: Penwwphjfidpoj.
Bill: No. You can look at mine but you don’t touch. Look but don’t touch. Actually, keep looking to a minimum, too.
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oh you edited it! I liked the earlier version (where you didn’t write long intense stare) because the dialogue made us infer that that was what Cormac was doing and that was what made it funny (for me anyway). I recounted it to my husband and he laughed so much I came back to check I had the wording right and you had changed it!
Point taken. I put it back the way it was originally. The reason I edited it was because I didn’t know if the staring situation translated ok in the original or if it just sounded like Bill was prudish but your feedback reassured me, thanks.
I woke up this morning and suddenly regretted my comment. It’s not like I am expert on blog humour. What was I thinking writing to you!?
You could, however, insert [long silence] before “Actually,…”
Am I killing all humour in this now?
*snicker*
Hahaha! Yes!
My counterpart is “Honey, please stop pushing my legs apart when I go potty.”
Yep, Sherbet has said to guests completely out of the blue, “Daddy has a willy, Sherbet has a fanny.” there is something about this circumstance that has brought out my inner prude, not so far as PJs yet, but i reckon they could be coming.
ahahaha, I don’t remember when Lu figured out that he and Dada have penises, but that mama does not – I do, however, very clearly remember the day he realized that other animals also had penises. One of our neighbors was out walking his pit and Lu, being a dog-lover, was playing with the dog as I am talking to the neighbor. Out of the blue, Lu sits up and points, excitedly, at the dog’s penis, and then, excitedly, at his own penis. No translation necessary: the neighbor (thankfully) cracked up with me.
This happened to me once while babysitting a friend’s very young son, who tried to pull up my skirt and kept asking to see “it.” I had to explain that “it” was something he needed to ask his parents about, and was caught between feeling awkward and just laughing.
I overheard a conversation between my then three-year-old and my husband while I was trying to sleep…
Oisin – “*I* have a penis.”
Craig – ‘Yes, you do…sssssssshhhh Mummy’s trying to sleep.”
Oisin – ‘Cadar has a penis too.”
Craig ‘Yes he does. Ssssssssshhhhhhhh Mummy’s trying to sleep!”
O – “YOU have a penis too, don’t you Daddy.”
C – ‘Yes I do – SHSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!”
O – ‘Mummy doesn’t have a penis….”
C – ‘No she doesn’t….SSSSSSSSHSHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
O – ‘I know! We could go to a shop and buy her one!”
C – *stifled guffaws* “Uh, maybe not.”
O – ‘Ok, then, she could borrow YOURS! You could pull it off for her, Dad!”
Me – ‘He could give it a good try, anyway!”
*snicker* He can pull his off for you….from the mouth of babes…
Ooh you all have such cute-funny penis stories. Nice.
I know this is my second comment, but this only happened recently, while in church: “Momma!” *fondles breasts* “You have such big nipples!”
My mother passed a mandate or mumdate in this case when my sister was born that no one and I mean no one was allowed to talk to her. (She had made the mistake of always talking to me and apparently, I never shut up) As a result, my sister developed her own langauge. (Of course we DID speak to my sister, just not incessantly- keep in mind I am 9 yrs older than my sister)
T: I have a fanny.
PJ: yes you do.
T:Mummy has a fanny.
PJ: Yes
T: You have a fanny
PJ: Yes
T: J has a fanny
PJ: Yes
T: S has a fanny
PJ: yes
T: A has a fanny
PJ: Yes
T: Daddy has a ….um… a Huggiar!
We have no idea where she came up with that word….she was 3 at the time. (My step father wasn’t really one for prancing around naked or bathing with his girls. I usually bathed my sisters…so the subject of why Daddy looked different never really came up. She just knew he was.)
This is one of the things that makes wifey and me always laugh – with regard to trans-Atlantic translations. When Americans talk about “fannies” of course it is something very different.
Took me a while to figure out what they meant by “fanny-pack”,
Rhiannon Saxon, I overheard a very similar conversation between a mother and small son in the women’s toilets at the state museum in Brisbane a couple of years ago. I stifled my snickers because I wanted to show sympathy for the mother, I figured she either knew it was funny too or was already tired of having that kind of conversation in a public place!
I relayed the conversation between Bill and Cormac to my hubby, then explained about the intense stare bit. ‘Oh, yeah’ he said ‘the intense stare goes without saying’. The voice of experience.
We had a situation a few months ago with my not yet two year old. He had recently realised that we were anatomically different and it seemed that every person who would talk to him on the street would get the same response: “Mummy has BAGINA! Lillyum has PEEEEEEEENISS”. You can tell a lot about a person from the way they respond to that statement! His current fave pass time (it seems) is pulling it and then stating “funny penis”.
The only issue I have with all of this is that I now have some cleaning up to do.
I sprayed the room with …. Coco Pops. Guffawing while eating cereal is not recommended.
Oh that is very funny. Thank you for sharing it. Do you know what I took from that dialogue? Your older son has very good boundaries! A sign of good parenting. Well done.
Your son knows touching is off limits, and he feels uncomfortable when his privates are stared at, and is assertive to draw a boundary there too.
This is how our children learn to protect themselves outside the home.
Well done mum.
Caro, that is such a sweet comment, though I must confess that Bill is 38 yrs old and not my older son, he is my partner. Someone did some good parenting with him, but it wasn’t me.
So funny! We are starting to have these discussions, too. It’s a delicate act to encourage conversation without shame. And it can feel quite invasive to have the looks and the questions!
I’m told this conversation has happened in our shower too.
More recently I’ve noticed that with our son’s growth has come a new invasion of my privacy. Where he used to cling to my knees, he’s now rather higher.