See here for previous lists.
Mine.
- The way you have started doing this freak-out panic shit whenever I move around the house to get stuff done. Just like your sister, what is with you two? When have I ever abandoned you?
- The shit hole you have turned our house into. Granted, it’s not entirely your own work but you are most definitely the catalyst.
- That you probably haven’t dropped a breastfeed since you were about nine months old – you’re still obsessed, night and day. I love breastfeeding. I love breastfeeding you. But I do a lot of resentful breastfeeding these days and I think it wouldn’t be like that if you could just drop a feed or two like a normal toddler.
- The way you make a game out of annoying your sister.
- Preparing food for you that you then decide you don’t want to eat. I really, really hate the number of meals I have to prepare in my life right now for everyone – and to have these futile meals on top of all that? Nightmare.
- That you refuse to put warm clothes on, or an extra layer or whatever, and that you then get really cold and it makes you really grumpy. And if you have a t-shirt with an image on it that you really like you will refuse to wear a jacket or jumper over the top of it and we are in the middle of friggin’ winter so it is no time for short-sleeved t-shirts. (Trying to keep your favourite short-sleeved t-shirts out of your line of sight when we’re dressing you so you don’t see them and insist on wearing them).
- You were my easy-going little ray of sunshine, my treat for all the hard work I’d put in to motherhood, so I have been taking your descent into toddlerdom horribleness rather hard.
- I’m really over Wiggles.. for the second time in my life.
- Watching how difficult you found the first term of Montessori playgroup – I remember it was this way with your sister, too, the first term is always so disheartening and you have been quite upset and offended and outraged at times with the teacher for all the things you try to do that she wants you to do differently. The fact that we are such informal eaters is causing you the most trouble. I dread you wanting to do any of the practical life activities at Montessori playgroup that involve food preparation because you so do not get the whole ‘prepare the food first and then clean up and then set the table and then sit down to eat it’ thing.
- That nappy change struggles – I absolutely hate these and I really find myself dreading your nappy changes.
- Because you are a wanderer I have to worry, in a way that I never did with your sister, about you drifting off somewhere and ending up doing something really dangerous, like drowning or something.
- You’ve discovered nose-picking.
- You throw stuff around the place to get our attention.
His.
- With Lauca we didn’t particularly notice the ‘terrible twos’ but with you it has been a very obvious change. I don’t enjoy the sudden moodiness and I don’t like the way you throw yourself on the floor and smash your head into the ground when you are having a tantrum.
- You have a real bug up your arse about choosing bedtime stories – you seem to want me to be in the play-room being part of the process with you. You get really upset about it and I have no idea what you’re trying to get me to do.
- You can’t grow out of the swing on our deck soon enough.
- How you get really upset wanting something out of the fridge but you have no idea what you want.. I have to hold you up so you can look in the fridge and say ‘no’ to everything.
- Making you endless friggin’ meals that you never eat.
- You have a huge tantrum about wanting yoghurt and then you have on spoonful and say “yuck” and then you move on to the next tantrum deciding that you want fish or a vitamin tablet. And maybe you do want to eat fish but you only want to eat it with the giraffe chopsticks (that are in the dishwasher) and you will only want to eat it by feeding yourself and while sitting on the couch. And if I try to say no to any part of that plan you have a big tantrum and throw yourself on the ground and then you’ll refuse to ever eat any part of that fish again. It has somehow been completely sullied for you.
- How you have to have absolutely everything that Lauca has and she is pretty reasonable with you but you push your luck and the two of you end up in a huge fight over it.
- All the biting! You’re quite unpredictable with it. I think you’re my little mate and the next minute you’re bored or something and suddenly I have tears streaming down my face trying to pry you and your fangs off me. Once you bit me on the face and I already had scabs on there from when you scratched the shit out of me.
- You go around deliberately making a mess – you’ll tip out all of your blocks on the floor and then walk off, you just did it for the fun of making a mess.
- You are going through a really clingy stage at the moment. Also, I would like to be able to go to the toilet by myself.
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Gods! I LOVE these posts. The “what we enjoy” posts are also fun, but ahhh….so nice to know that I’m not alone in having similar lists of things that I enjoy least.
Thank you! Just what I needed this morning to remind me that my 2 1/2 year old is not the only one acting like a complete and total maniac! I love BOTH these posts equally.
These really are great posts. You tell us about things that many of us don’t talk about, because we are a bit embarrassed to admit that our children are doing or saying such things.
Mine are well past this age now, but I recall that when they were terrible-twos-ing (actually, they were pretty good), I spent a lot of time talking to a friend whose children were just a little older than mine. Her advice and her frankness about the horrible things her children did helped me so much, because it made me realise that the problem wasn’t that we were bad parents: it was simply kids being kids, and they would come through it in time. I think that these posts that you write provide exactly the same sort of reassurance for other parents.
Do you ever let him wear one of the imagey short sleeved shirts over a plain long-sleeved one? I was possibly over twenty by the time I figured that one out – and British, so very few chances to wear shorties on their own…
I adore these posts!
Pssst – don’t tell Bill, my 5yo still comes to chat with me when I’m on the loo.
We do the t-shirt with picture over stripey thermals thing, we’re encouraging the Backpacker Look in the hope that he’ll go travelling.
The phrase “no milkies, Mama said no” is starting to be heard in our house more often. Not sure how that will go when he has enough language to get into whys and wherefores.
I just had to laugh out loud at these lists because toddlers are so ridiculous! I am glad to know I am not alone in the area of annoying shit my toddler does. Diaper changes are torture here too and I don’t change him often at a public place for fear of having child custody called on me because of the shrieks of horror!
My friend and I who had babies a similar age used to joke together that ‘we eat babies here’ because of all the screaming when nappy changes happened. I have never ceased to be amazed that they were happier in dirty wet nappies than with a nice clean bum.
Thank you for all the sweet things you’ve all said – I always feel very self-indulgent doing these posts, given that they’re so very much for the kids to look back on when they’re older and all.
I love these posts too. I love seeing your lists and then his lists, how there’s often a few points of overlap, but so much different too. But then I feel guilty that I’m not doing anything so wonderful for my kids to look back on. Which is funny because I don’t usually feel much guilt, but this is definitely a guilt-laden area for me.
I was wondering if you’ve considered getting the kids to write lists as well- it would be interesting to hear Lauca’s take on Cormac (or her parents!).
Haha scary suggestion on Lauca contributing a list… interesting idea though.