Conversation 1.
Bill: I was unpacking some boxes and I brought this old photo of me up because look. Look how relaxed and smiling I am in a photo?
Me: Yeah, that’s the smile of someone who just got laid. I remember that day at the beach.
Bill: What?
Me: I remember that day.
(Two year old Cormac pushing in between us, desperate to be included and/or copy us).
Bill: You want to see the photo, do you Cormac? Does that look like the face of someone who just got laid?
Cormac: ………………………………
Bill: He doesn’t think so. You wouldn’t know Cormac, you’ve interrupted so much of it you’ve never actually seen the face of someone who got laid.
Conversation 2.
Six year old kid visiting us for a play-date: I’ll come home but only if I first get to run up and down their drive-way.
Kid’s Dad coming to collect him: ……?
Kid: Can I? I have to run up and down their drive-way. Really fast.
Kid’s Dad: We’re kind of in a hurry. Got to pick your mother up and get dinner going. Ah… ok.
Kid’s Dad (to me): It’s the completely random and arbitrary demands that get me. I barely know how to respond to the regular demands, but these other ones.
Conversation 3.
Circus-obsessed Lauca, aged six years: How many tricks do you know?
Punk uncle: Oh, I know a few, not all of them fit for a circus.
Not sure whether to stuff my 17 y.o. self back into her box or ask for a show of hands of who else would like Punk Uncle to, um, explain in a little more detail these tricks? On the proviso that it is an adult audience and he’s over 25 isn’t he?
with photos too please.
you ladies read my mind.
hee hee, glad i’m not the only one