A lot of great feminist stuff is written about body shaming and body acceptance but this is totally one of the best pieces I’ve seen written on the topic yet. “How to Talk To (& About) Humans” from Pip Lincolne at justb.
Not bothering with shoes at all, the Dove and Victoria’s Secret images are tapping into lots of different (bare-footed) things. People who don’t have model bodies, people who like model bodies, people who like undies, people who like ladies standing in lines, people who like people who are standing on one leg, people who love glamour, people who love girls-next-door, people who like armpits. All kinds of things. They’re designed to get our attention. And they’re designed to get us talking about bodies. And we are. Bam! Even armpits. Aww.
However well meaning these kinds of campaigns are, lining women up to celebrate body diversity often just creates body competition. It’s inviting us to make judgements and observations about how things look. It’s inviting us to size things up. Let’s not do that anymore.
We need to stop talking about size altogether. Yep. You know that. I know that. My dog knows that. The guy that makes my coffee knows that. We’ve been over and over it, right? Let’s move on!
No one is plus size. No one is minus size. No one is normal. We are more than that. We need to shift the focus from body acceptance and champion people acceptance. We need to shut the door firmly on this kind of stuff. It’s old. It’s boring. It’s not relevant. Begone.
Agree. It’s boring, Begone. End of story. Celebrate instead the fabulousness/niceness/kindness of all humans.
In the vein of ‘I’ll stop talking about sexism when we live in a post-sexist society’, I’ll stop talking about size when it stops mattering. I am on board with hating pitching sizes against each other – the ‘real women’ stuff is gross. But I feel like the author has either missed the point of body acceptance, or needs to check her privilege. It’d be NICE to not have to think about size ever, forever. And sure, some of the stuff can be opted out of.
But some of us can’t opt out, some of us can’t forget that we’re too big because every time we go shopping we’re reminded that designers don’t want us to wear their clothes so they don’t make them in our size. I AM plus size – you know how I know? Because I simply cannot buy clothes in normal stores. No, I am NOT normal sized. I’d love to be. I’d love there to be no such concept. But that’s not going to happen by us all just pretending it already has.
I would love nothing more than to never think about the relative size of my body ever again. I feel like I agree with the principles of what I think Pip is trying to say. But wouldn’t it be better to talk about not using ‘fat’ as a bad word and ‘thin’ to mean ‘pretty’? Rather than saying we can’t speak on the subject at all?
Hmm it’s a good criticism you’ve raised.. I need to think about it some more. Thanks for the comment.
Shouldn’t Pip be telling the beauty/fashion/retail industries to stop using that language? Cause that’s where the culture comes from. Telling us that we need to stop using that language when it is being used about us is missing the point.
I think what Pip is saying in this article – which feels true to me – is that even when we try and have empowering conversations about our bodies that we end up feeling stung, that the conversations about our bodies are so laden with patriarchal crap that we just aren’t able to talk about it without buying into the evaluation and comparison of bodies. I find this myself, I get less of a sting from empowering conversations about women’s bodies than I do from judgemental conversations about it.. for sure, but I still come away from those conversations with a bit of a hangover. Does this make sense?
blue milk I remember a post of yours a while back in which you said that you were making a conscious effort not to critique other women’s bodies. And I read another blog recently in which the author wrote about her pact with her best friend that they would NEVER comment on each others appearance, even in a good way. And initially I thought both things were slightly strange, until I tried it myself and realised how many of my interactions with other women involve a comment on looks (always positive, but still) and how hard it is NOT to notice other women’s bodies, even in the most fleeting way. I am totally programmed to notice and evaluate body size despite my desire not to do so. It is extremely rare for my male friends and relatives to comment on each other’s appearance.
All of this is very true. It’s like gossip, where even positive gossip is a bit dodgy. I try not discuss appearance with anyone, to stop it being such a prominent issue. I try to discourage people from commenting on my daughters’ appearances, because the obsession with it starts from early on. Little boys’ appearances are hardly mentioned to them which I think explains why men don’t think to discuss it.
[...] o telesných tvaroch a o tom, ako sa o nich hovorí However well meaning these kinds of campaigns are, lining women up to celebrate body diversity often just creates body competition. It’s inviting us to make judgements and observations about how things look. It’s inviting us to size things up. Let’s not do that anymore. [...]
Riffing off a couple of the comments here: I think there is a difference between “let’s stop critiquing/commenting on other women’s bodies” (even in an “empowering” way) and “let’s stop talking about women’s bodies at all”.
Kind of like Craftastrophies says: if we don’t talk about women’s bodies at all, we don’t get to talk about/critique the politics surrounding women’s bodies. Seems to me this runs the risk of disappearing some very real issues. (Much like not talking about gender differences runs the risk of disappearing difficulties for women generally. This is something I also hear in PWD spaces.) A fat woman – or any woman with an “abnormal” body, or indeed, any woman – might feel that the best way to talk about the politics surrounding women’s bodies is to talk about her own body.
I’m all for ceasing critique of/commentary on other women’s bodies, and I think that is the main point of Pip’s article. But I think we need to recognise that saying “let’s stop talking about women’s bodies” has a silencing effect, and I am not on board with that.
I definitely agree, there is a major difference between those two things.