Femininity itself has become a brand, a narrow and shrinking formula of commoditised identity which can be sold back to women who have become alienated from their own power as living, loving, labouring beings.
From Laurie Penny in an interview here on Feministing about her new book, Meat Market: Female Flesh Under Capitalism. So many great thoughts in this interview.
AS: You also mention that feminist stereotypes exist because it “terrorises women with the fear that radical politics will destroy their sexuality and gender identity.” Why do you think this is women’s greatest fear?
LP: Whatever sex we are, we come to learn, particularly after we start school and the social segregation really begins, that our gender identity is the most important part of our overall identity, and that not fitting properly into the big pink box marked ‘F’ or the big blue box marked ‘M’ will lead to ostracizing, loneliness and shame. One of the things I’ve learned from my transsexual friends is how powerful and frightening the fear of being misgendered can be – it feels like a form of identity destruction, like a tiny part of us is being killed. Stereotypes about feminists – that we are sexless, masculine-looking, ‘hairy-legged’, aggressive – are often designed to imply that women who question gender norms on a personal or political level lose that feminine identity that is so important, as important as it ever was thirty years ago, to social and intimate acceptance. The fact that it’s not true – I know feminists of all ages and genders, and some of them are incredibly femme, and some are magnificently butch, and most fall somewhere in between – that’s not the most important thing. The most important thing is that we have allowed feminism to be rephrased as somehow anti-sex, anti-gender, when feminism is all about liberating gender and sexuality.
” … not fitting properly into the big pink box marked ‘F’ or the big blue box marked ‘M’ will lead to ostracizing, loneliness and shame …”
I would argue that as soon as you are stamped with the big pink “F,” you are immediately doomed to a life of ostracization, loneliness, and shame. It is impossible, in patriarchy, to “do” girl, woman, female the “right” way. It’ss the biggest gaslighting of all. Go ahead and try, but whatever it is, as a girl or as a woman, you will be Doing It Wrong.
I have to agree with this. The box marked ‘F’ means something entirely different to my hippie mother vs. my traditional mother-in-law, and yet both of them have caught flak for being the wrong person.
I would argue that feminism isn’t about “liberating gender and sexuality”. It’s about liberating women from the dominance and the burden of the patriarchial system and destroying gender and the awful constraints it exercises in our daily lives – not to mention women’s safety and very existence. Gender is a social construct and transexuals (mentioned in the above) can be more intent on emphasizing gender, being ultra feminine etc, which only confirms the feminine and the masculine which is the source of so many problems. I think Penny’s arguments are shaped by neoliberal individualism slash post modernity, and performing gender and celebrating it in all its so called individual differences is a big step backwards. Feminism is about undoing gender, not liberating it. And yes, it is also not anti-sex.
I agree that feminism MAY not be about liberating gender and sexuality. I take issue with sex-positive feminism for instance – it often simply translates to the idea that women are free to be sluts, and sex remains penis-centric. In short, under sex-positive feminism, women are free to participate in MEN’S sex. At my old (women’s) college, the sex-positive fairs were nothing more than a bunch of booths with dildos for sale.
But I don’t agree that transsexuals are somehow subversive to the radical feminist agenda. Any attempt to argue that someone’s gender is superior than another’s (in whatever manifestation – super femme or the opposite) falls into the trap of denigrating the person. And feminism is supposed to fight for equality REGARDLESS of gender. That transgender people use their appearance to radicalize the radical should not be thrown in their face.
[...] blue milk turns our attention to how femininity has become a brand. [...]