I keep saying to writers and editors that the really dark stuff still to be unpacked with the topic of feminist motherhood is not the stuff about your relationship with your kids, as explosive as that can be it’s really being talked about more these days; it’s the stuff about your relationship with your partner (if you have one), and particularly if he is a he, that could do with a lot more honest discussion. The editors look excited when I say this, until I tell them that I am not in a head-space to do that writing, myself. And the writers nod and then just look very nervous .. but someone should write about this stuff, don’t you think? You, maybe?
This line from a piece in The Hairpin by Claire Zulkey got me thinking about that again.
Here is what I’ve learned: Having a modern, equal, loving relationship before having a baby does not mean you’ll continue to do so once you have a baby.