1. Trying to get her to sleep in the evening; I feel anxious and appalled at what we have to go through to get to the end. Her crying, her flapping her arms and legs about madly, bobbing on and off the breast, hurting my nipple, twisting about with colic.
2. Her tiny little day-time naps.
3. Her intolerance for waiting 2 minutes or less while I finish my toast or put on my shoes or go to te toilet or turn the DVD on.
4. Sitting in a filthy house and not getting a moment away from her to clean it.
5. Trying to conjure new ways to get her to sleep. Then giving up and going back to old ways.
6. The crappy food I am addicted to now to relieve boredom, frustration and intense hunger.
7. Not having space to be a sexual, secret or relaxed person anymore.
8. Getting the car seat capsule in and out of the car and forgetting to do up the seat belt.
9. Being woken up for a feed or to put her back to sleep when I am really tired and in a very deep sleep.
10. Thinking she is in pain or contemplating the pain she will experience in the future – teething or colds etc. And.. the soreness of my nipples, almost constantly and being bumped in the night and then my breast leak and then I wake up cold and wet.
His (aged 4 mths).
1. Dressing her after the bath is my least favourite time of the day – awful.
2. Having to be away at work for so many hours of the day and only seeing her in the evening when she is cranky.
3. The exhaustion, always exhausted by her and work.
4. Having to always entertain her – wishing she would be entertained while I read a book or played on the computer.
5. I miss the best part of her day – seeing her only when she is cranky or sleeping.
6. When she cries and I can’t seem to console her and the easiest thing is to palm her off on her mother. I feel inadequate.
7. No time for myself, no escape from everything.
8. When she screams in my ear and makes my right ear drum hurt – sounds like a blown speaker.
9. Almost smothering the baby in bed and dropping her once.
10. Worrying about the awful things that could accidentally happen to her (see above) – boiling water, hitting her head on the door on the way out, poking her eye out with the TV aerial.