Every pregnant woman complains about people touching their pregnant belly without permission. Actually, this hasn’t greatly offended me this time around. Maybe because I love the feeling of tight pregnant bellies so much myself, I kind of forgive these people for wanting one quick touch on their way past me. (All the same, don’t go touching other women’s bellies without asking first).
But what does offend me is the idea of my labour being used for comedy value. Nobody gets to make a joke about my labour but me, it is my property, and I don’t find it the slightest bit funny. So, no effing jokes. You’d be surprised how many people think it is all so ludicrous, you giving birth.
Example.
Entering a meeting room at work as the only female in the meeting.
Man: Woah, look at you, we all better sit down before you give birth. Are we going to need some stirrups in this meeting or what?
Me: Why, you due for a prostate exam?
True story.
jesus, if only i could think on my feet that quickly!
i too love a belly and i never had an issue with people wanting to touch it with any of my pregnancies. In fact i really loved the connectedness that being pregnant gave me. Im a touchy feely person myself, always, putting a hand on an arm etc so for me it was nice to have it reciprocated, even if it was on my belly!
Fabulous comeback, BlueMilk.
My students were all very respectful of my twin pregnancy – opened doors, made sure there was a stool for me to sit on in lectures, and the like. They were great. During my first pregnancy, some of my fellow students were keen to feel the baby moving, and because I liked and trusted them, I was fine with that. And they asked first.
I probably would have thrown up on him. He’s just lucky he works with someone witty instead of permanently nauseous. (The committee I worked for while heavily pregnant included one pregnant woman and was chaired by a mother and grandmother, I was quite fortunate to be spared this crap)
Heavily pregnant women make some men very uncomfortable, I’ve discovered, and they use jokes to deal with their discomfort. I think it makes their measly sperm-implanting-egg role seem so weak in comparison to what our kick-ass bodies do for reproduction. In short, he’s just jealous!
Prick.
I hated all the ‘public property’ behaviour etc while I was pregnant. It’s frustrating that so many people feel as though they cannot let a pregnant belly pass without comment. It just gets tiring constantly being on the receiving end of so many people’s issues.
Good for you! I was appalled by the things that were said to me whilst pregnant at work, openly mocked for my belly’s size by co-workers and asked about my cervix by my newly appointed female “director”. I had to put my discomfort in writing and talk with her about it. She apologized but wasn’t very accommodating of my flexible work arrangement request after that.
Advanced pregnancy does seem to challenge many people on their own issues related to childhood, parenthood, sex, work, etc. I’ve never understood that, even before being pregnant myself. It’s always been so gorgeous to me.
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Awesome. Just awesome.
Oh, you’re good.
What a wonderful comeback.
Personally, I never minded people’s desire to have a go of my swollen belly. I think partly because I’m a big woman anyway, people wanting to get into my space is less threatening than it is when you have to fight to occupy your space all the time already – I’m 5’11” and about 90 kilos so people tend to give me a bit of room ;)
The other thing was that sometimes people are just baby-lovers and find the whole thing exciting. I am one of these people. That’s not what was happening in your meeting of course, but you showed that sucka, sistah!
My team leader at my former job was upset about the public property thing. Our manager took it upon himself to set up a betting pool on the date, gender and weight of the baby, and was astounded that she was offended by it because he saw that as a pretty standard thing to do in Aussie culture. But she saw that as invading her privacy. I seem to recall that he went ahead and did the betting pool thing anyway when she was on maternity leave despite her clearly expressed wish for him not to.
I didn’t have strangers accosting my belly during my last pregnancy, but after the birth I had to several times tell people to get their hands off my baby. One was a waitress whose hand I actually slapped when she failed to let go of my baby’s hand. I know this may sound extreme, I just didn’t want germy strangers groping my baby. I always ask before even leaning too close in to someone else’s bub, cause you never know if it’s OK with the parents. Some other mothers seem to have no problem with this, but when I say that I do they are dismissive and sometimes rude. Has anyone else had this problem?
Evie, people were forever getting in my kid’s face. He didn’t like strangers, or surprises, or loud noises, and he espcially didn’t like ‘in your face’, so he yelled. The worst ‘offender’ was probably his grandmother, but lots of random strangers got yelled at by him too. It kinda went “ohh isn’t he cute, look at you little man, what lovely blonde hair/blue eyes, yada yada” with the response “arghh”.
Which is why I carried him in a sling, or put a sunshade or muslin over the stroller.
Melanie, my family are fond of betting on babies, and I’m all in favour, but I’ve never known a workplace to do it. Very strange behaviour on the bosses part.
I had a senior male colleague who couldn’t cope at all with me being pregnant – he had to greet me every day with some patronising variation on ‘and how’s our little impending mother today?’ and make reference to the size of my belly/potential for me to give birth any second, etc. Prior to me being pregnant we’d had a rapport that I thought was intellectually equal enough, professional with a bit of witty-ish banter. However the way he behaved during my pregnancy seemed to suggest that he actually viewed me and presumably other women he worked with in primarily sexual terms, so couldn’t relate reasonably at all once I was so obviously not sexually available. Interesting and intensely irritating.
Ooh, that’s a good one.
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