After arriving an hour and a quarter late to a babyshower what do you say in five minutes or less to someone who is about to become a mother?
Well in my case I rambled a bit about the bleakness of motherhood in an attempt to warn her about the worst moments ahead while all the time thinking shaddup, shaddup, because really, you’re a day or so from giving birth and you want to hear all this crap, nuh-uh, and then I threw in a few dreadfully sentimental platitudes about falling in love that caused me to get a little emotional and choked up because they are also actually quite true about babies, and finally I yawned a bit because it was getting late and I was pretty tired and being concise was beginning to bore me. The whole moment was only surpassed for awkwardness by my baby, lolling about in my arms and farting his brains out the entire time.
Nothing like a bit of well timed flatulence!
I completely understand when you say it’s hard to know what to say to an expectant mother, but I wouldn’t worry. Support after the birth is the main thing a new mother needs in my experience.
In the meantime – thanks for the laugh!
You forgot everything anyone said to you after the birth anyway, so you could have told her the earth was being invaded by aliens on Tuesday and it probably wouldn’t have mattered too much.
I remember when the kid was brand new and I was exhausted promising myself never to harp on about how tough it was, because of how glorious it also was, but it proved impossible to keep. The husband remembers nothing good at all, which drives me to fury.
They WISH they could get that on a card!
I loled at the last line.