Huh. Big name feminist (and blogger of Feministing), Jessica Valenti is pregnant. I admit it, I get a little thrill from seeing others join the club of parenthood – suckers! And like Viva la Feminista, I kind of hope Valenti does some mummy blogging in the future. If she doesn’t it could feel like an indictment on motherhood, like she doesn’t somehow see it as worthy of serious feminist thought. Then again, if she does do mummy blogging she will be on turf I know well and it could be disappointing if she seems too judgemental, or perhaps worse, too non-political about it all. But the mother shock that comes with one’s entry into motherhood – who wants to put that kind of vulnerability out there for public consumption? (Well, I do, but then that’s one of the benefits of small-time blogging). And the sad thing is she will probably have never wanted to write so much about something in all her goddamn life. (Ah, cathartic blogging, more benefits of small-time blogging). Poor Jessica Valenti, no wonder she sounds reluctant to blog about her dive into motherhood. Hey congratulations all the same, Jessica.
On another note. I am totally digging this terribly interesting description from first time second time, which is a blog written by a woman in a lesbian couple where the mothers have both had a turn ‘having’ the babies:
Nursing a baby is a bit like going out with someone who is just trying to get you into the sack. When Leigh was nursing, boobs were on her mind constantly. If she got too close to them she opened wide for a snack. And that non-stop physical need can give you that back-off-and-give-me-some-space-here feeling. I enjoyed the physical connection of nursing, but I also felt the burden of that connection.
With Ira I feel very free. I cuddle him, rough house on the floor with him, and give him lots of kisses. He lays on my chest without groping me. We touch and snuggle when we both want to, rather than when he needs to.
Finally. I find these radical downsize living experiments faaaascinating, as you may well know. Here is another dip into that theme that comes with a gold star from me for the title – Madeline Holler’s ‘I am a Radical Homemaker failure’ over at Slate. I love failures, of all kinds.
What I am is ambivalent. In the last few years, even mainstream culture has been all about green living, hyper-locavorism, Michael Pollan and his five ingredients. Even the biggest corporations attempt to tread lightly on the planet — BP being a notable exception. Really, there’s never been a less embarrassing time to drive a ’93 Ford Festiva, which I sometimes do. The economic meltdown has made frugal living fashionable, purposeful and much less quaint. But go radical? I just can’t.
This radical homemaker thing reminds me of the über-momming phenomenon. Oh contemporary themes of motherhood, you treacherous beast, you.
Thanks for linking to us! Nice collection of posts here.
Re the Radical Homemaker article, I really enjoyed this response by Sharon Astyk: http://scienceblogs.com/casaubonsbook/2010/07/myths_of_incompetence.php. I appreciated the insights she had.
[…] This is a very interesting and worthwhile counter-argument to that failed radical homemaker piece I referenced recently. There’s a kind of wilful incompetence that is endemic in our society, and it is the […]
I appreciated Sharon’s points, up to a point. If that isn’t too many “points” for one sentence. But I groan inwardly when she touches on the learned incompetence of Teh Men – which is an important barrier to eqality in the majority of couples – and then makes a case for heaping more guilt and more work on women. Because it’s probably women/mothers who are going to be spinning the yarn and making the pickles, right?
[…] Although right now Bill and I are totally in love with small house living (constraints really inspire creativity and togetherness), so it feels funny to be momentarily fantasizing about owning two big houses. And nice for us to love small houses since the house we bought is small. The whole fashionableness of the ‘simple living’ movement has previously irritated me. But we use a lot of public transport, we have one car and not two, we have a small house with a single open-plan living space (kitchen/study/dining room/living room), we are vegetable gardening, Bill fixes and makes things a lot himself, we buy and scavenge a bit second-hand, we enrol our children in only one extra-curricula activity each a year, we dress Cormac in a lot of Lauca’s old clothes (yes, even the pink ones).. and look, we’re not cheap and limited by our budget, we’re fashionable and ethical. […]