Primarily I identify as a feminist blogger but I am more than happy to wear the ‘mummy blogger’ label, too, if people choose to call me that (especially if there is a prize in it). This is significant only because ‘mummy blogger’, like so many other exclusively female terms is also used as an insult.
There is some shit going down on the Internet (where else?) about ‘mummy bloggers’ at the moment. You can get a good idea of the whole story over at Catherine’s Her Bad Mother, where if you scroll through the comments you will also get to see the next instalment of the story, as it unfolds. Poor Catherine.
In the meantime, here is a quick synopsis. Feminist pop culture site, Jezebel wrote a somewhat offhand piece about an episode of sexual harassment that happened to some ‘big name’ mummy bloggers by a ‘big name’ daddy blogger. Mostly readers stayed on topic in the thread which followed and conducted what was an interesting discussion about blogging ethics and the degree to which there exists a responsibility for victims to speak out . But this being Jezebel – the site regularly pisses off black feminists, feminists with disabilities, feminist mothers, and a whole host of other feminists for its, at times, insensitive and ignorant writing and comment moderation – some of the comments in the thread were squarely aimed at ridiculing mummy bloggers instead. Catherine of Her Bad Mother called those comments out for what they were and has consequently copped a little hate over at her own blog.
For what it is worth, Catherine doesn’t particularly like the ‘mummy blogger’ term but will accept the label for her own writing rather than participate in the misogyny that has turned the term into an insult. I have some thoughts of my own about the identity of ‘mummy blogger’. A while ago I was interviewed about the ‘mummy blogosphere’ and some stuff about the term came up in that interview (hopefully they won’t mind me sharing some of that transcript here):
-In what ways do mommy blogs create community and in what ways are they interactive? Has this community changed the way you parent?
Writing about the experience of motherhood is terribly cathartic, but being able to see others reading it and reacting to it is also very special. Readers of mummy blogs, with the exclusion of trolls, are very supportive people. Finding support on issues you feel isolated about in your off-line life is an important element of the blogging experience. Also, other mothers generally appreciate the significance of your mothering experiences, so they celebrate little achievements with you and empathise with your agonies as you blog about them.
The community has altered the way I parent: purchased book recommendations; enhanced my strategies for negotiating sexism/racism/homophobia with my children; given me ideas for birthday parties and presents.
-Do you feel like the form and community for mommy bloggers is liberating?
I think it has been very liberating for mothers. Blogs are often quite confessional in nature and as such motherhood sins are laid bare for the audience, this kind of frankness is very refreshing for mothers. Also, motherhood is very consuming but also very faceless in our world – to be able to talk about the experience and have others pay attention to what you have to say about your day-to-day life is quite empowering for mothers.
However the mummy blogging community is also rife with judgementalism on all the usual debates in motherhood. So reader beware, I guess.
-How do you feel about the term “mommy blogging” and the media latching onto the mommy blogosphere?
I think the term itself is ok, and the fact that it exists as a term is testament to the prevalence and power of mummy bloggers. I don’t shy away from the term myself, although I might not be who people have in mind when they think about mummy bloggers, but I don’t think writing about motherhood is mindless or embarrassing. I am happy to be associated with motherhood as a topic. For me becoming a mother has been a very cerebral experience and I don’t see why anybody wouldn’t want to write about such a profound life-changing process. All women’s writing is denigrated so it is hardly surprising that mummy blogging has been ridiculed to such a degree in the media. But I think there is something particularly spiteful about the way the media talks about mummy bloggers and I think that comes down to the fact that mothers are not taken seriously, but also more disturbingly, there is a lot of child-hatred bigotry intertwined with misogyny out there that leaks its way into the media commentary.
(Thanks to Tara for the tip-off).
blue milk 
I can’t begin to describe what having children has done to my creative processes.
It has been quite liberating and refreshing to mix my art with a daily blog and to demean the whole process under the said term is quite frankly insulting and missing the point.
I think we are a society obssessd with labelling, and as you correctly point out, it is a media driven obssession.
and another media label, of which I am happy to dismiss with a yawn…
Thanks for sharing those links.
I was reading a post by a male parent blogger who attends “mommyblogger” conventions, and he had an offhand remark in his post about how dad blogs are starting to get media/advertising attention. He didn’t go into it, but I’m left wondering if advertisers are:
1) going to court male parent bloggers as they court female parent bloggers
2) going to stop with the ridiculous over the top pink pink pink gendered ads and female/mom centered language
3) going to start throwing lots of money at male parent bloggers, more than is offered to female parent bloggers, because when men do something it’s srs bizness
and in what combination.
Do you have any thoughts on this?
I think there’s a real paradox here for bloggers who clearly are embodying everything that typifies a “mommyblog” – focus on the kids, twitter where you talk to your mommyblog friends about the minutiae of your life, whiny self-entitled tone, clear focus on getting traffic to fuel advertising revenue – complaining about not liking the terminology.
It’s perfectly possible for women who are mothers and bloggers not to be mommybloggers; just write about different stuff, with a different tone. This blog is a great example; it’s a feminist blog, rather than a mommyblog.
But if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.
I know what you mean, whatladder, especially about the ad revenues and swag. But I dream of a world where feminist blog and mommyblogs aren’t regarded as dichotomous!
Great post, and thanks also to for pointing me toward Catherine’s blog.
Blue Milk–I’m glad I shared the story; I was thinking you’d have already gotten wind of it some other way.
I’ve been mulling over the term “mommy blogger” since I saw that post on Her Bad Mother. Possibly because I’m relatively new in the blogging world, but I never consciously thought about whether mommy bloggers were viewed as being “silly” or “embarrassing”. I think I tend to think of a “mommy blog” as more of genre, similar to “business blogger”, “news blogger”, “gardening blogger”, etc. I don’t think I define mommy blogger as “mom who blogs”; I define it more as a woman who blogs specifically about her life experiences as related to motherhood. I have also blogged about school psychology-related issues (on other blogs); in that context, I don’t consider myself to be mommy blogging.
I do, however, get frustrated when I hear readers say things like, “I caught my husband reading your blog today; he thinks you’re hilarious”. It makes me imagine some man sitting in the dark, his hand clapped over his mouth, giggling as he scrolls down the screen. Sure, my comedic storytelling is inspired by my children, but can’t you just reframe it in your mind as, “this funny blog I read”, instead of “my wife reads this funny mommy blogger and tells me about it”? Or worse, I would never know you thought it was funny if your wife hadn’t told me? Apparently a man reading my blog is akin to a man watching “Dawson’s Creek” and enjoying musicals. Shame on you, men who enjoy Rent and Wicked! Shame on you for laughing at something funny . . . when it’s written by a woman and a mother.
I also take offense when the view is expressed that bloggers are not writers. Sure, some bloggers write terribly. But these terrible writers may not desire to convey more than a simple message. Or maybe their message is not in what/how they write, it’s in their pictures, or even in the comments they garner. But what does one have to do to be considered a “writer”? Be paid? Be published by someone else (rather than the self-publishing that a blog affords)? Refer to themselves as a writer rather than a blogger?
Well. As you can see, I did not stay on-topic. Possibly because I just cut 1/2 my finger off in a cooking related injury and my brain is now leaking out of my finger.
Poor finger.
I either read everything or tune out for a while so please never assume I am current on things, I love the tip offs.
Thanks to consumer culture, we live in a world in which it’s assumed that a woman with a child cares only about her nest and fuck everyone else. Thus the “mommy blog” label, which is useful for marketers who want to feed those insecurities with products that will ensure our children are the best/happiest/smartest/ babes in the world, which in turn perpetuates the myth that mommies must not be paying attention to the larger world around them, like the boys who are writing about Important Things like Politics.
The job of feminist bloggers (like you and me and millions more) is to fight this narrow view of what mothers are tuned into and are capable of.
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