Once I got shafted by some blokes at work. It was over an almost-corner office. One bloke wanted to offer the almost-corner office to another bloke joining his team. I had already made my move on the almost-corner office and I outranked the bloke it was being offered to, except that I’m a woman, but let’s not mention that right now because I don’t want to seem all whiney in my story about sexism in the goddamn workplace. A couple of other blokes came and teased me about being shafted and there was also a patriarchy-enabler (I hate those kind of women) doing most of the dirty work to shaft me. It all went down on a particularly bad day, one where I already felt quite brittle, like I had no ‘give’ in me, none of the flex and bending that you need for the tact and negotiation and strategy that is required to contest this stuff. And I thought maybe I will go to the ladies toilets and cry, like that scene in Mad Men.
But then I also thought, men don’t go to the toilets at these times, could I handle this more like a man? Although in this case, if I were the man the office would have been, like, handed to me. So, that’s what I did. I assumed ownership of the almost-corner office. I tackled it directly but not so directly that it was confrontational. I was prepared to lose but I acted like I didn’t expect to lose. I had some legitimacy in my case and I let it be known that I knew that. I also made a back-up plan in case the whole thing went kaput and I was shuffled out of there in front of everyone, and that was that I could always make a joke of it. So it was a face-saving, whatever, meh, non-defensive, is it too late for an arm-wrestle over this fellas kind of joke. And then I just did it.
blue milk 
It’s funny how important desks are in office politics. I figure a key sign of my value to my boss is that despite several reshuffles & my going on secondment for 6 months and mat leave for a year and returning only 2 days a week – I still have ownership of the best large, window desk.
I have a great view of trees. It makes sitting at a computer much better.
Good for you.
Sometimes I have moments of being all ‘evolved’ and above this kind of shit but at that particular time in my career not so much. Anyway, who doesn’t love a view?
I was once given advice by an older woman, who had survived (and flourished) through the “bad old days”- she said that if there are status symbols that go with your rank (such as a better office), be sure to take them, even if you think it is sort of silly, because people make judgments based on those sorts of things.
I haven’t always followed that advice- because really, sometimes I don’t feel like fighting over a desk- but I always keep it in mind.
Cloud, I think this is a very good point.
Isn’t there an idiom about possession being nine-tenths of the law or something? You go!
(This kind of reminds me over the fights we used to have in our office of six over chairs. The bosses obviously had the best chairs, but the remaining four of us would fight over the next-best chairs, of which there were two. Eventually our billing person gave up and just brought cushions and pillows to pad out the chair she resigned herself to, but the three of us still fought over the other two, and attempting to sabotage the others by deliberately farting in the next-best chairs was a totally acceptable tactic.)
It shouldn’t matter but it does. My boss was surprised when I moved from the ‘admin’ desk into the spare office when I got promoted. But if I stayed at the admin desk it would have been like admin was still my primary role, rather than something I do when there isn’t an admin officer and something needs to be done. A subtle but important difference.
Having a penis should not be a prerequiste of having a better office. Good on you for sticking up for yourself, I bet they just expected you to play nice and give up. You showed them.
Have had a few discussions with friends about ‘acting like a man would’ at work. I’ve never taken it to this level, so I am impressed. Usually I try to keep it to things like posture. I’m afraid I also say ‘Men don’t have to wear heels or makeup to work, why should I?’ rather a lot, which probably doesn’t do me any favours.
I agree with Cloud. I read the same advice in “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office” and so when, 2 years into my career, my boss offered me an upgrade from a cube to an office, I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I think he was surprised I wanted to move (“It’s such a BOTHER”) but it absolutely makes an impression. People assume I am older, more senior, and more competent because I have an office.
Interestingly enough, I’ve been talking this week a bit about ‘offices’ and perhaps status in the office to a few of my equals in other departments. Or people I’d like to think of equals, even though they probably earn a third of my salary more than I do. Wishful thinking.
We were talking about the ‘modern’ office, or the ‘future’ office as there won’t be ‘ownerships’ on spaces… the office in the future has couches and mobile workspaces… people move in and out of the workplace with their mobile computers… and I wonder if this will improve hierachies in the office. There aren’t any obvious closed doors, but you can find these rooms if you need more private conversations, but there won’t be the ‘corner office’ … just open work areas, with wifi access everywhere. OH I love this future workspace, it’s so wonderful and utopian!
But, unfortunately for me, I am the nice girl at work. I’m in a moderately Senior role, and I’ve occassionally been called (in a jokey way) passive aggressive but I feel like I’m nice and friendly but assertive when required. I don’t feel like ‘acting like a man’ at work, as I don’t feel unequal but I may feel differently if I ever get pregnant.
xoxo
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