Bill: I was unpacking some boxes and I brought this old photo of me up because look. Look how relaxed and smiling I am in a photo?
Me: Yeah, that’s the smile of someone who just got laid. I remember that day at the beach.
Me: I remember that day.
(Two year old Cormac pushing in between us, desperate to be included and/or copy us).
Bill: You want to see the photo, do you Cormac? Does that look like the face of someone who just got laid?
Bill: He doesn’t think so. You wouldn’t know Cormac, you’ve interrupted so much of it you’ve never actually seen the face of someone who got laid.
Six year old kid visiting us for a play-date: I’ll come home but only if I first get to run up and down their drive-way.
Kid’s Dad coming to collect him: ……?
Kid: Can I? I have to run up and down their drive-way. Really fast.
Kid’s Dad: We’re kind of in a hurry. Got to pick your mother up and get dinner going. Ah… ok.
Kid’s Dad (to me): It’s the completely random and arbitrary demands that get me. I barely know how to respond to the regular demands, but these other ones.
Circus-obsessed Lauca, aged six years: How many tricks do you know?
Punk uncle: Oh, I know a few, not all of them fit for a circus.