I now realise I haven’t cleaned the two year old’s teeth in a week.
Both children need their finger nails to be cut.
And their toenails.
I forgot my gym pass.
I wish I remembered to clean the screen on this computer.
The windows need a wash, too.
I didn’t recharge my iPod.
I can’t find my headphones.
I can’t find that book of yours to return to you, either.
You won’t return my books to me until I find your book.
I was sure we had already paid that bill.
We should eat more kale.
Do we get enough vitamin B?
The guinea pigs probably need more vitamin C.
I need to be more energetic at work. More proactive.
I haven’t taken the six year old out to ride her bike in ages. Maybe I will do that more when summer is over.
I haven’t taught the two year old to ride a bike.
I want to get my eyebrows done again.
I never sent that thank you e-mail.
I never answered any of those emails, in fact. The same at work.
I forgot to delete troll comments.
Has the cat got food? Does it get enough raw meat? I don’t like to think about raw meat.
We have run out of ointment for the children’s mosquito bites.
What are we going to do about the mosquitos?
I should give Bill more blow-jobs, then I could be owed oral sex back.
We should be more experimental in our sex life again.
We need to get the two year old back into his own bedroom again.
That fan needs cleaning. The dust is probably giving us all allergies.
I want a good dress-maker. Then I can wear clothes that fit me properly.
I need to do more fun things with the two year old on my days off from work, instead of just grocery shopping and cleaning the house.
What are we going to put in the six year old’s lunch box, I need to go grocery shopping?
The kids should see more of their great-grandparents.
I hardly ever take the two year old swimming; I took his sister swimming more when she was his age.
That box needs unpacking.
That one, too.
Where is that box with half my clothes in it?
If I made my lunch the night before I could take it in to work and then I wouldn’t spend money on lunches at work.
I should read these newsletters.
Those phonecalls need returning.
We could really do with a calendar on the wall.
We should make a regular night each week where we wash the children’s hair.
I should put those forms away before the toddler cuts them up with scissors.
The chook food should go into a sealed container before we get rats.
Has anyone checked their water container today?
I need new bras.
The kids both need new shoes.
I have to find out where these splinters of glass are coming from that we keep getting in our feet.
Why didn’t I get a fresh towel for this bathroom yesterday? Now I am drying myself with dirty clothes from the hamper.
That article should be finished by now, those editors hate me.
Whatever that thing is rotting under that table should be cleaned up properly.
The vacuum cleaner filter needs cleaning.
The kids should watch less TV.
The car really needs cleaning. And new tyres.
I need to read those books I am reviewing.
I need to read those books I borrowed. I need to read more for pleasure. Less off a screen.
One day I will pay my library fine.
That plant needs watering. I keep forgetting to check on that plant.
The six year old needs help sorting out her clothes.
The six year old needs more routine.
The six year old needs a set time for homework.
I need to speak to the six year old’s teacher about making homework fortnightly instead of weekly so we can schedule it around our work commitments.
The teacher must hate us for always getting to school late.
I should keep in touch with that nice parent who offered to help me with care arrangements when the two year old starts kindergarten.
Junk is piling up on that bench.. again.
I don’t play a wide enough variety of music to the kids.
I shouldn’t be worrying about this stuff in the middle of the night.
I really need to get to sleep.
Tomorrow is the day when I am going to be way more proactive at work. I really need to get to sleep.
The kids need to get to bed a little earlier.
I need to teach the two year old the alphabet.
I was a bit too snappy with the six year old today, I should really be more patient.
The two year should probably be weaned, when am I going to do that, will he do it himself?
The garden beds need weeding. I wish I was the sort of person who enjoyed weeding.
That scratch on him should be checked, is it infected or just swollen? When did it happen?
I need to do more Montessori with my son.
More construction with my daughter.
More art with my son.
More formal drawing with my daughter.
I should find where the scrap buckets keep ending up whenever Bill or the children take scraps down to the chooks and come back without them.
We need new recipes. We’re tired of the same old meals.
I should bake more.
I should be doing Kegel exercises. I will regret not doing that when I am older.
I hope I worry about more interesting things by then.
OMG that was me exactly for the last year. I’ve just gone off work (mat leave) and am catching up on all that stuff. Still doesn’t feel like there’s enough time. Hope you get some more sleep tonight.
Shit, alphabet at two? … I’m’a have to get moving on that, then.
It gave me a jolt too – I’d better be getting a move on teaching the 4 year old the alphabet – oh, and numbers….
My 8 year old told me she was going to tell ‘the government’ on me.
The government? Oh dear. 😉
We’ve been doing alphabet, sort of, with our kids (one is three, and the other is twenty months), but it’s very lazy and haphazard, and mostly involves me sounding like a fool in the parking lot. “Okay, what did we buy today? We bought milk. Milk starts with the mmmm sound. Who remembers what letter says mmmm? I’ll give you a hint: cows say mmmm…” and so on.
They can, however, say “Expecto Patrononum.” XD That’s got to count for something, right?
Oh and add to that “The day care is going to put name into DOCS because I always mix up the clean laundry with the dirty and my daughter is frequently turning up in dirty clothes – the first sign of a neglected child.”
Just wondering how you managed to transcribe the contents of my brain?
Wow! Did you collect these thoughts or just harvest them at the keyboard?
Yes, tha’ts the list all right. I cleaned the windows once in about 2003, but that was when we lived in a different house, but.
Hope you get some worry free sleep soon, blue milk.
That there is a list of the brain-real-estate that is taken up, in the brain of most mothers.
I went away with some other women last weekend, and it was so bloody fantastic to pack for only me, and leave all those thoughts behind.
Shall I have white wine, or champers.
Shall I sew, or go for a walk on the beach.
It is the antidote to all that, but then so is my boring-list-of-stuff-I-have-to-get-done, which also gets most of it (not all) out of my head. I have no answers about how to get it all done though.
Glad I’m not the only one who forgets to clean their teeth!
The two year old does not need to know the alphabet yet, windows get washed by rain, fingernails and toenails will eventually break, tear or be chewed off, if the iPod isn’t charged you don’t need the headphones, a two year old can work out for themselves how to ride a bike (with training wheels, my 5yr old still does, my 8yr old only learned last year you have time), I know you are busy and you can ignore my emails I’ll be fine, it is important that 2yr olds realise that someone has to clean the house and buy the groceries and when you are two doing stuff with mum, even shopping, can be really fun, messing after she has just cleaned is even more fun, children can scratch it is character building, Bill could build some credit in that department surely?
Pikelets for the lunchbox easy to cook and most of the stuff is probably in the pantry, hand in the homework every two weeks, the cat will be fine – if she wants fresh meat she can catch a mouse, get Bill to find some recipes and surely you must need a glass of wine by now? Then plonk the 2 yr old in his room and …
Good to know that other people do the same listing of shoulds, including the ones about cleaning and returning emails and being more proactive at work starting tomorrow, and that a whole new category awaits me whenever I have kids.
I always console myself by thinking that I clearly need the loafing time, plus worrying always feels like you are doing something.
By the way, I agree with the person who said the 2 year old doesn’t need to learn to ride a bike just yet. I reckon you can shunt that one to the bottom.
I don’t even have kids yet and I already feel like this! I don’t know how mums do it all. I love reading your blog.
So many mums here uh-huhing, your truly included. Somehow I suspect the same could not be said of our male counterparts…though would love to be proven wrong.
I, too, am curious to see what a dad’s list looks like.
What Mindy said, but; I really ought to find those stray bits of school uniform, the cats need brushing, those holes in the walls need plaster, why didn’t the kids like the new thing i cooked today, we need three new panes of glass, should get those blinds up, should i put the washing out now or wait till morning?, all the tyres on all the bikes need pumping up, i never wrote that post i promised, or that other one, my tomatoes, beans, squash and zucchinis have all got blight and died, Dr Honey passed out before the kids on our only night alone during the great visitor marathon of ‘oh 12. Country music may be my only salvation 😉
I had eyebrows done today. Today! Meanwhile I’m sending them out in dirty clothes, the herbs are dying and the library’s sending a collection agent ’round.. The thing rotting under the table is only a piece of partially masticated cucumber, not raw meat. Relax.
Yeah, did you listen in on my brain today.
Between your post and Cloud’s (http://www.wandering-scientist.com/2012/02/on-big-careers-and-work-life-balance.html) it’s been my week to think about mental load and mental space. Thanks.
Thank you! I desperately need reminders that OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THESE LISTS otherwise I start playing martyr and forget to be compassionate, or I start getting horribly self-critical of myself for not being able to handle being an adult (never mind a parent, I can torture myself for hours with that one). And Hendo thank you for pointing out that “worrying always feels like you are doing something” because truer words were never spoken. This is why the internet is a good thing.
Thank you for this. It’s so hard to explain what’s going on when I tell people that I feel “overwhelmed”. Now I can just point them here.
Most of my “slipping through the cracks” thoughts are related to kids. I think I’ll have to copy your stream of consciousness post and do my own!
You describe so eloquently the constant tickertape running through my head every day.
I bought half of child’s year 9 school textbooks in December so they were in a separate bag to the other stuff. The bag has been forgotten in a corner of my bedroom since. It’s the SECOND week of school. Only remembered because child asked.
My head hurts now. My daughter is starting school in term 2 and I am getting a little worried about having even more to keep track of!
Thank you
Did you peek in my brain? I feel just like this and I only have one two-year old. I’m sharing this everywhere I can.
Thanks.
And thank you here, too.
Did you read about the new controversy of Kegels? I looked for a link but I lost it in FaceBook nothingness.
You and I seem to be on the same page today… Hoping tomorrow, I find all the things that need doing have been done.
I laugh only because I have a Very Similar List of Suddenly Important Things That Crop Up Just Before I Was About to Fall Asleep.
Eventually I make a list as a way of mental purging. Then I marvel at how much crap I carry around with me each day. Sometimes I even get inspired to start doing things about some of them. Sometimes not. But I always feel better.
I hope you feel better too. : )
yes yes and yes, although in my case I’ve been so consumed by One Big Deadline at work the past few weeks that I’ve mostly managed to shove all the other stuff far out of my mind.
Hope the cracks get sealed for you!
Oh my God, YES. Sometimes I’m surprised my brain hasn’t imploded from the constant list of ‘shoulds’. I must say this post made me laugh and feel anxious in almost equal measure.
i f-ing love this post. right on.
Thank you. That was like “Conversations I have with myself”!!!
[…] From Adrienne Rich in Of Woman Born. (Yes, Rich has her limitations and I won’t try to deny them, but she is still the most important writer in feminist motherhood, ever, in my opinion). And apparently we all make lists at 3.30 a.m., me included). […]