I have a new article published at Daily Life: “The great lies of childhood” on why outdoor play has disappeared from our children’s lives and why it is worth getting back, but not feeling guilty about as parents –
So, here is why I want to reclaim more outdoor play and free time for my kids – because I am tired and stressed out. I limit my children’s extra-curricula activities; it is less about fears of over-scheduling and more about limited money and patience. When my children get bored I tell them that feeling is good for creativity, because, I want a break. I am increasingly driven towards ‘slow parenting’ and I will admit that this is partly because, like the rest of my generation, the idea of continually improving my parenting is irresistible and I, too, am gripped by the benefits of tree climbing. But as much as anything it is also about finding a convenient solution to all my weariness with juggling work and family.
blue milk 
That’s the second time I have read an article on Daily Life, found it unusually nuanced and insightful, then realised at the end it was one of yours. Thanks for your writing.
Aw you, best comment.
I saw this article first at Daily Life, though I’m an American. Loved it. It applies to my wife more — our three boys’ time and “boredom” are front and center for her more of the time than for me — but this gives us great hope that “feeling is great for creativity” and to let them loose outside.
As my wife, who grew up in South Central Texas, was told when she and her four siblings were kids, “Go outside and play, and don’t come back unless someone is bleeding.”
Oh wow, thanks.
My three boys are not old enough to get bored. Interesting isn’t it, that as life opens up and we have more skills and opportunities, that our boredom quotient goes up. I’m ready however, for that most annoying statement ‘I’m bored!’ – I’m the Chairman of the Bored, now go outside and play!
A lot of my free time outdoors when I was a child was during business hours – after school and all day during our 9w summer holidays. But nowadays,
1 – most neighbourhoods empty out during the day (a reality of 2-income families), so there aren’t playmates or even adults around for emergencies. When I was a kid, I rarely (never?) went looking for an adult, but I knew I that could if something went wrong. And I also knew that those adults would give me heck or call my mom if they saw me doing something stupid.
2 – a lot of neighbourhoods even empty out on the weekends. In my friend’s lovely tree-lined urban neighbourhood, full of children and closely-packed houses on small lots but with backyards, it’s empty on the weekends because families are at the cottage (summer) or skiing (winter) or other family obligations. So again, no playmates.
What a great article! I particularly like your comment about how most public space is now “adult space.” I live in New York City and there really are very few spaces to take children (or a baby, as I have) where they can be themselves without constantly being policed or having to worry about a child’s volume. We have the great privilege of being a block from a wonderful park, with several walkable playground areas, but this isn’t the case for most living in Manhattan.
Thank you for your thoughts on not being a Tiger-Mom.
Love seeing more and more articles written by you!
Me too.
Another intelligent, thoughtful article in the mainstream media, it’s great.
My daughters are 16 and 13 and still play outside..in the woods, making forts, climbing trees. They also read books non-stop. And read their favorites again and again. The eldest didn’t get a cell phone until she was 14, the youngest still won’t get one for a while. Do they Facebook..yes. But we try to limit that time online. I chose to raise my girls the same way that my mom raised 5 kids: go outside and come home when you are hungry or when it is getting dark. Or as stated above, if you are bleeding or dying. We all survived.:)
I enjoyed your article,
See, I wish I could give my kids more mostly-unsupervised outdoor time – one of the things I enjoyed most about our recent vacation was the ability to turn them loose into the yard. Our apartment doesn’t have a yard, and while I realize that we’re really lucky to live within an easy drive of loads of green space – I’d still really love to be able to turn them outdoors until they’re hungry or bleeding most days.
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