But I still talk too much about how colicky our son was and overreact when other parents tell me about their docile little angels. When a friend at our baby swim class told me that her daughter rarely cries and has always taken three-hour naps, my jaw dropped. “Are you [expletive] kidding me?” blurted out of my mouth. When another friend casually plopped their quiet newborn onto a couch cushion and then sat down at their computer sipping tea watching YouTube videos while their baby “chilled,” my head fell into my hands in disbelief. Our baby never “chilled.”
“I’ve got to let it go,” I recently told my wife. But I find it difficult to be happy for couples that have easy babies. I struggle to empathize with their problems, which always seem incrementally smaller than ours were. I want other parents to feel our colicky pain; to know what it’s like to give a baby love and get intense screaming and 30 minute-naps in return. It’s ridiculous and selfish, but this is the form my PCSD has taken.
From Gary Moskowitz in The New York Times.
I really, really, really related to this piece. Having a colicky baby fucks with your head in so many ways. The extreme fatigue and the incessant screaming went on for five months. It was literally a traumatic experience that only those who have been through it can truly understand. I feel really bitter toward other people who have quiet babies who take long naps. They can all go fuck themselves.
From Tracie Morrissey.
I fucking hear you both!
But I can reassure you other parents with colicky babies that sometimes when you have a second baby you get one without colic .. and it does things for your sense of justice, but you still won’t find vindication:
You think you will be thoroughly vindicated when you have a second child and they are an easy-going one. See, we didn’t create the ‘screaming for no reason’ thing in the first one, she just came that way. But actually, everyone will just assume that you finally got your shit together with that second one. “You were clearly more anxious with your first child, I am sure it made her highly strung,” they will tell you. “Yes,” you will say, “I get a little anxious when someone screams in my face all day, but I didn’t start that way”.