Wrestling, hair-pulling, scratching.. with everyone reading 50 Shades of Grey and watching True Blood rough sex is absolutely everywhere in popular culture. Surely this is mainstream by now? Almost everyone seems to like a bit of it. I can’t tell – I forget what shocks us and what doesn’t out there because I spend so much time with you people on the Internet.
Anyway, over at Bitch Magazine there is an interesting little discussion on rough sex and labelling.
It’s not just heterosexual women who get it in the neck for daring to admit to liking sex in ways “that tenderness doesn’t always reach.” A gay man who likes it rough gets accused of having “internalized society’s self-hatred of him as to offer his own body for a beating.” Lesbians who don’t fancy gentle, lavender-scented sex with each other have also been condemned, with anti S/M feminist Marissa Jonel stating that “There’s something wrong with a woman who has an orgasm while beating or fist-fucking another woman.”
For me, the only real problems with depicting rough sex in the media are: a) when it’s shown as the only truly “sexy” type of sex to have, rather than merely one option of many, and b) when active, enthusiastic consent from both parties is not shown.
And I’m interested in your thoughts on this because I want to write about this topic?