As someone who has pretty much worked in bureaucracies her whole career I’m fairly patient with protocols and administrative processes, but every now and then I see people stumbling around in ‘red tape’ that has ceased to fulfill a purpose and which is now actively working against the original ideas behind the system, and it makes me feel very exasperated. Because, you know, we can actually change rules and regulations. If it makes sense to change it, and you have the power to change it, then fricking change it.
This is one of those times. La Leche League (LLL) is an amazing organisation and they do terribly vital work but this needs to change.
Milk Junkies is a breastfeeding and attachment parenting blog written by a transgendered dad in a gay relationship who is breastfeeding his baby son. (You should read it, he’s a great writer). On his blog he has been writing about his experiences as a new dad, and particularly, about breastfeeding after having had chest surgery. The writer of this blog, Trevor has had a strong relationship with LLL and now wants to train to become a group leader with the organisation but this is what happened:
In reading, please remember this: I LOVE La Leche League. Its books, meetings and online resources made breastfeeding possible for me. My experiences with my local LLL chapter have been fantastic and I am extremely grateful for this.
It seems that the decision regarding my leadership application comes down to policy: “Since an LLLC leader is a mother who has breastfed a baby, a man cannot become an LLLC Leader.” I understand that I don’t fit into LLL’s definition here, I just think that their definition is poor. I believe that the point of the above statement is that in order to be a leader, you must have breastfed a baby for a certain length of time. It is your experience that counts in peer-to-peer support. At the time the policy was written, the authors assumed that men wouldn’t/couldn’t breastfeed, so they defined a leader as a woman. I kinda doubt that many people envisioned my own scenario. I think that the interpretation of the policy should evolve.
Advice to all organisations seeking social change: whenever you come across someone who faces enormous obstacles of exclusion and yet finds the stamina to pursue a particular interest in being involved with what you’re doing, and what you’re doing is about social change, then you welcome them with open fricking arms. This is someone who brings invaluable drive, perspective and experience to your organisation, and your organisation needs that – because social change is hard work and to be effective it needs to be meaningful. You will not ever get there while excluding those who believe in and share your purpose. If you’re about social change, and this includes governments, then you need to be especially open to adaptation.
If you have to change rules to include them, you change them. This is why I hate Australia’s refugee policy, it’s why I hate the way some states in the US puts homeless, single black mothers in jail for sending their kids to good schools, it’s why I hate certain branches of feminism for persisting with transphobia and it’s why I hate the fact that LLL is excluding a transgendered breastfeeding dad from becoming a group leader.
blue milk 
It’s not even as if he wants to be a group leader for a suburban group of LLL mums, he wants to help other trans and genderqueer people who want to try breastfeeding which I think is wonderful. I don’t see a problem with it and I’m really disappointed that LLL do.
He could start a petition for La Leche League to redefine who can become a group leader. I would sign it!
You didn’t quote it here but LLL responded to his suggestion of leading a group for LGBT people by saying that they’re not in favour of “niche” (their word) groups. I really disagree. Especially for situations where bodily care is involved, safe spaces are very important. Breastfeeding is already fraught for many people.
The thing is, this transman doesn’t have the *experience* to be a group leader. I can’t in good conscience sacrifice struggling-to-breastfeed women who need an experienced leader on the altar of inclusivity. I can’t. I don’t see how anyone can.
Can you please be more specific on what experience he is lacking, Naomi? Secondly, a bit of information I haven’t been able to find: are women who never had supply problems or traumatised nipples (or oversupply, or the need to supplement, or mastitis) allowed to become LLL leaders?
Sure.
This transman isn’t actually breastfeeding in the sense of the word that the vast, *vast* majority of breastfeeding women do and understand it to mean.
Breastfeeding with a supplementer isn’t experience that qualifies someone to give peer support to women establishing and resolving issues with breastfeeding in a conventional way.
When I have supported women who are struggling to breastfeed, my own experience and physical understanding of how to make it work have been *vital*. Also, I have on occasion demonstrated latch etc by using my own breast to feed a baby with as an example.
LLL are obviously very happy to have the transman as part of their group and have clearly provided him with excellent support. But he has very specific needs which are not in common with most women who will wish to access LLL for support. He is in no way able to provide this, in my view.
“My local Leader suggested holding meetings oriented toward gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender parents interested in breastfeeding. I know that these individuals need support and that they do already turn to LLL to try to find it.”
How is Trevor not suited to providing this sort of advice?
Where does it say he was using a supplementer? He was breastfeeding his child and is grateful to LLL for showing him how to get a good latch. Surely his experience of feeding post surgery could be valuable to someone and this is something he could help others with now? He’s been breastfeeding for 13 months.
I’m still not quite understanding you clearly, Naomi. Are you saying that LLL requires that a leader must not use a supplementer? That they must be capable of producing a full or near-full supply? When you talk about demonstrating latch, are you saying that LLL requires that a leader must have a certain minimum breast size or breast shape in order to be a leader? That demonstrating latch on a leader’s own breasts is a core requirement of the programme?
I really wonder how mothers with very small breasts and/or the need to use supplementers could get any sort of useful, experience-based help if every single leader must have plump, well-producing breasts in order to qualify for their position.
Mindy, I’m not sure if the particular article linked to outlined it, but, Trevor MacDonald has clearly stated that he feeds his son using a supplemnter and donated breast milk.
“Through SNS, a tubular device that connects a bottle to the nipple area so the child can simulate the experience of nursing, MacDonald began feeding his son, supplementing his own minimal production with lactation donations.”
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/breastfeeding-dad-trevor-macdonald-lllc.html
Sure, his experience would be very valuable to another transman in his position and I guess to women who have had mastectomies; I hope that he would aim to provide this in an informal way. But his experience is unequivocally not of convential breastfeeding – which is how most women feed – and therefore he is not in a position to provide advice to those women as a leader. He’s just not.
The LL needs to balance the needs of what is likely to be a very tiny proportion of transmen/women who have had mastectomies who approach them for support (which experienced leaders already sucessfully provide) and the massive majority of women who need support establishing and resolving problems with convential breastfeeding. I can’t support throwing these women under the bus so that Trevor MacDonald can fulfil his (selfish, in my opinion) desire to be a leader. As I said, he can provide peer support to the small group of people who share his experiences in an informal way – why does he have to be a leader, when he simply doesn’t have the experience to be one?
If you are serious with this, and if this is accurate, LLL is placing itself at pretty serious risk of disability discrimination problems as well as its gender identity discrimination issues. And were you not aware that many more people use supplementers than those who have had mastectomies?
Saying that having people whose bodies don’t function in a normative way in a tiny minority of leadership positions within an organisation constitutes throwing those with normative bodies “under the bus”… I don’t know how to dignify that with a reply. As a disabled person, I find this exclusionary attitude abhorrent. Your privilege really won’t be threatened by opening the door a chink. It just won’t.
I find it incredibly offensive to disallow someone from leading for using an SNS, and nowhere in the LLL requirements have I seen that. There are plenty of cis women who use supplemental systems due to low milk production. They still work on latch, they know a HECK of a lot about increasing supply and knowing how to tell if their baby is getting enough. They are valuable assets in mother-to-mother breastfeeding support!
I had read about this man before, and did not realize he wanted to lead a separate, rather specialized group. I thought he wanted to lead a “regular” group, and envisioned that being problematic.
Mindy:
“My local Leader suggested holding meetings oriented toward gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender parents interested in breastfeeding. I know that these individuals need support and that they do already turn to LLL to try to find it.” How is Trevor not suited to providing this sort of advice?
I find this a bit confusing.
1) Most lesbian woman can breastfeed just fine – their ability to breastfeed has nothing to go with their sexuality.
2) Gay men tend not to breastfeed – because they are men.
3) Most bisexual mothers can breastfeed just fine – their ability to breastfeed has nothing to go with their sexuality.
4) Bisexual men tend not to breastfeed – because they are men.
Transmen who have had mastectomies and have babies and wish to attempt breastfeeding may well appreciate some peer support from Trevor MacDonald. It is great if feels able to lend them some informal support on this.
Again though, Trevors quite unusual experience does not qualify to support the vast majority of women who approach the LLL for support. He should therefore not be taking up a leadership position, in my opinion.
Naomi, while physically lesbian and bisexual mothers have the same range of experiences as straight mothers, it can have an impact on seeking and receiving appropriate support. When LLL say they don’t believe in niche groups what they mean is that anyone who is “niche” has to fit in with the groups that are directed at straight (white, able-bodied) women.
So, um. Late comment is late? But maybe it will be helpful?
I didn’t have trouble breastfeeding my first, at all – my second, though, there was a different issue. I had an emergency c-section and while my supply seemed sufficient for the first month, into the second and especially the third it seemed to bottom out, and nothing I could do brought it back. I’ve never even heard of supplementers. I’d thought about attending an LLL group but didn’t think they’d want someone who looked like me there – I don’t present as fully masculine, especially not at three months postpartum, but I wasn’t comfortable attending what I thought would be a group of mostly straight cis women. Having someone like Trevor there would have been extremely helpful to me.
As it was I switched to formula and never looked back, so it’s all milk under the bridge, so to speak – but, still. In case you were under the impression that people like me are such a rare minority that you’d never hear from us.
(Also, I’m really, really offended that having a leader available who can offer a specific form of support to non-normative breastfeeding people is “throwing women under the bus.” It’s not even logical.)
I think Naomi Stevens has some excellent points. I would not have appreciated a person who has never breastfed coming to my house and teaching me how to breastfeed. Such a person would not be an expert. Someone arriving at my home with a supplemental feeding system would have been bewildering and overwhelming.
I think LLL should snatch up Trevor McDonald for situations similar to his – that is, when a supplemental feeding system has been deemed necessary for someone who wants to breastfeed.
I’m still baffled by the focus some people have on Trevor’s use of an SNS, as if it should have any bearing on his suitability as a leader.
Perhaps it’s because I automatically coming at that side of things from a disability point of view: to me, an SNS is simply adaptive equipment, nothing more or less, so to pander to people who find his use of it somehow scary or insurmountably Different is just pandering to prejudice.
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