Two years ago, when I turned 50, my kids were 10 and 14. For my present, I saved all my money for months & moved to a house in the mountains for a month. I took my computer and printer and office supplies, ’cause I did have to work. (Haven’t figureed out the “independently wealthy” part yet.)
Around me, there was no sound except the wind and the birds and the squirrels. I was alone except for the occasional foray into the local small town.
Women with no kids, and men, were all shocked at my doing this. They couldn’t understand why I did it. (Not to mention, my mother and sisters were scandalized, certain that my marriage was in Terrible Trouble and that I was “abandoning” – my mother’s word – my family.)
Every single mother responded with full understanding and the glimmer of “hey-maybe-I-can-do-something-like-that-someday” in her eye.
It was an extreme luxury, and but for my husband being able to work at home most of the time, I could not have done it. Also, my paid work is all done via internet, so that is another major factor in this.
But if any mother ever gets the opportunity to go away even for a night or two, alone, she should take it if she can.
And also: what seems endless now is not really so. During the intense and difficult years, just keep reminding yourself: I am a person. I deserve to be separate. This will NOT be forever.