This is a really good reply here to the notion that mothers are in constant competition with one another. It is a piece written by Glennon Melton at Huffington Post, called “Quit pointing your avocado at me”.
This is not to say that there isn’t some very real judgmentalism happening among parents at times, nor that it isn’t deliberately provoked by parenting media for clicks. But I do wonder if a good deal of the judgementalism we perceive on an individual level isn’t really just a kind of defensiveness. A defensiveness born from vulnerability, of course, because motherhood can be a fragile status to inhabit in a patriarchy.
I guess the answer is to have more community among mothers and for that community to be diverse.