For ease of understanding, I use ‘divorced’ regularly to describe my status, though I was never married. But what other words do you use to convey a relationship you thought would be a lifetime and wasn’t? Until we had children, he and I lacked both the terminology and the ceremony to explain the significance of our relationship to others. Now, without marriage, the transition from inside to outside the relationship has similarly lacked terminology and ceremony, and is apparently so capricious as to require two witness statements to prove it. This is something I discovered recently when updating my tax information. By now, the presence of children is more a confounding variable.
The unstitching is frustrating at times. Even if I know which stitches to unpick for me, without the pattern of marriage and divorce others seem to have difficulty following. And when I turn the fabric over, I find the thread is bunching and looping in ways I hadn’t expected. (“Are you still going to call yourself a single parent if we move in together?”).
From “When will we start celebrating divorce?” in Daily Life.