File this under: Maybe how you feel about mothering, and your feminism, says something about how your country feels about you as a mother.
Great article from Abigail Rasminsky in The Cut, “I had a baby in Europe; here’s what it did to me”.
But unlike my husband and me, my expat friends didn’t struggle over the gendered turn their marriages had taken. These women had already given up their careers upon moving to Vienna, or had always expected a year or two of paid leave with a new baby. They felt little anxiety about keeping their careers going — or, like me, getting them out of the red. Why should they? By law, their jobs were protected.
A few months in, I started to understand the question my midwife had posed when I asked her about using a breast pump. “But where are you going?” she’d wanted to know, as if I were planning to abandon my child. The logic seemed to be: My husband had his job, and I had mine, which was culturally mandated and for which I was paid. What else could I possibly want?
Very similar to my experience in Germany. Kind to mothers; tough on women – that also resonates. If you’re a mother, and you’re fulfilling the expectations of mothers society is kind to you; if you’re a woman looking for other options or trying a different version of motherhood, less so.