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Archive for the ‘re-partnering’ Category

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This, “Breakfast at Bethany’s” is such a thoughtful short story on dating (and re-partnering), by Craig Billingham in Verity La.

Things were going well – Martin could feel it – so why not press on, take another step? They were enjoying each other, like adolescents with age-spots and pre-crimped skin, but infinitely more interesting. They had so much to avoid talking about.

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It is rougher. Messier. More mistakes. More imperfect than you expect, even when you expect imperfection. It is layered and complicated and ordinary.

At its best it is that untidy, because that is where the vulnerability and bravery hold. But you have to surrender to that, over and over again.

Repartnering.

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The sun

One of the things I missed most when I was alone was the private jokes of being in a couple. Now I’m with him I love all the code, the language, the memories, the flaws, the references and insights.

Like, whenever he plays my favourite Nina Simone record, Here Comes the Sun I have to wonder have I been bad-tempered, anxious or is it just a good album?

And when he compliments me I say, oh yes the sun is shining again.

 

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Reasons to be apart: being sick, being tired, staying up late, skipping dinner, having my period and not wanting to tell someone I have my period, not shaving my legs/painting my nails/brushing my hair/pulling my stomach in when I’m naked, being lazy, being bad-tempered, letting ex-boyfriends text me, spending time with friends, masturbating before sleep, wearing PJs, being with my kids, writing. None of this I say; all of this I summarise as ‘being alone’. Why do you need all this time alone, he asks.

Reasons to be together: I love him, I want him, he doesn’t like when we’re apart.

(Notes from last year).

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XO

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I think, I never want to go through the pain of tearing a relationship apart, again. But I also think, I never again want to resist it either. If the coming apart is to be done, let us throw ourselves to it.

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