From Jenna Wortham’s “Everybody sexts” in Medium.
I started sexting with my first love. It was a face-on photo: boobs covered, face hidden, curves accentuated. One that, if leaked, would still be a “my parents are going to kill me” moment. Time tells me who will leak, speak or bring it up. I don’t require one if I really like you, but those who I may be slight bit iffy about, I’d ask for one in exchange. Hate to say it but it would be blackmail.
He said something like “OMG sexy!!! I can’t wait to get back home to you.” [This project] is actually making me realize I don’t sext my boyfriend enough. I maybe send one maybe once a month?
Q. Do you ever worry about these photos coming back to haunt you?
A. On some level, yes, that is a fear. But it is decreasing with time. I worry very little about it now.
Q. Why do you think that is?
A. As I got older, I became less uptight. I just no longer give a fuck. If this image, for example, got out, it wouldn’t affect my life.
I sent this image to my fiancé while he was traveling on a longish trip. I usually send more graphic or straightforward sexts, but as our relationship deepens and grows, so does our sexuality. We have already seen each other’s bodies a lot, and we will be seeing them a whole lot more, so sometimes eroticism can come from what is unseen, or presenting something in a different way.
I can’t believe I have been sending nudes for 13 years. Before telephones had cameras. I am going to remember that if some punk kid ever says something to me about my age or something. “Kid, I have been sending nudes before you were born.” At first it was a little nerve-racking. It was later, when the sex tape things started happening that I really came to realize that it might not be the end of the world if they leaked out a little. I try and send photos which are of good quality and not just like, “Here is a crappy picture of my dick,” so that if people see them they might be like oh that is nice or something to that effect.
Q: What’s the story with this sext?
A: [The guy I’m dating] asked for a “tit flick” to get him through nervous jitters surrounding a work presentation he had to make. A complete spur-of-the-moment request — and fulfillment of said request.
Q: Who makes the cut?
A: I’ve only sent nudies to guys I’m seriously dating, or boyfriends. Again, it’s the management of digital footprint thingy at play here.
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