Dear undecided voter,
I am tired of reading about you in my newspapers and seeing endless vox pops with you on my television. I am tired of every politician in the country courting you and I am very tired of your terribly small but terribly crucial numbers. I am tired of listening to your ill-informed views, yes, ill-informed. There, I said it. Your views are ignorant. Everyone is trying to be nice to you in the hope that they win you over, but the truth is they are all tired of you too. I am tired of listening to you say how you’re a swinging voter when so often it seems you aren’t one at all. You just wanted the opportunity to suggest you’d vote for the other side so you can say how much you hate them.
I am tired of your ‘what’s in it for me?’ entitlement mentality combined with your jaded complaints about politicians lacking vision. Undecided voter, you are a big part of the reason why neither side of politics shows much leadership. Because if only, undecided voter, you were undecided for an actual reason. If only you were genuinely caught between a generous parental leave scheme and better ongoing support for childcare – that kind of conundrum we could understand. If only you were deliberating between a concern for the environment and your ability to make a profit from your farm. But instead you think in contradictions, saying things like Labor spends too much money and anyway, I want to vote for the Coalition so we get a bigger parental leave scheme. You think the Labor Party and the Liberal Party are influenced by internal interest groups but that the Greens and Family First are not. Just how is any political party expected to make sense of this? No wonder they are frozen in policy inaction.
*stands*
*applauds*
bluemilk, I love you
Bwahaha! Love it, and agree x 1 000 000. As if this election wasn’t shite enough.
This has been the worst election ever. Undecided voters spoil it for everyone.
hear hear
Liked this comment I received in relation to this post via email from my partner:
“Everybody knows that a one party state is a bad thing, and we like to feel good about our open, pluralistic political system. How lucky we are!
In reality however we are a two party state and it is effectively much the same thing. This leads us to outcomes not too dissimilar – ie it really doesn’t matter who you vote for as both major Parties are indistinguishable from each other and terrified of doing anything that might make themselves stand out.
If you are left-leaning, your vote goes to the ALP. If you tend to the right, the coalition gets your vote. For the purposes of electioneering, you can be ignored. And you are.
The only votes that are actually contested in an election are those belonging to the “undecided”, “swinging” voters of the centre (or of nowhere in particular) who have no firm opinions, fear any kind of change and assign their vote based on a purile combination of short-term self-interest and baseless political rhetoric.
In order to remain electable, the two major Paries have to mirror each others policies. If the ALP moves in a direction that gains a little traction with the undecided arses, the coalition follows along. If the move wasn’t so popular, they back right off and never mention it again.
The big part of the reason Rudd was dumped and the ALP is in so much trouble at this election is because they took a bold position on the mining tax – a big scary change – without testing the water first and without leaving themselves an easy opt-out in case it fell flat with the “electorate” (and by “electorate” I mean the numbnuts whose votes actually count, the undecided fuckwits who fear a “great, big, new tax” but aren’t aware of anything else about it).
(It’s worth noting that the mining tax was about the only significant policy to be considered from the otherwise ignored Henry tax review. And little wonder we will never see national tax reform when we cannot even implement a sound super-profits tax on a few multi-nationals that even themselves admitted was largely justified given the decline in their effective rate of taxation over the years of the mining boom).
Basically, if a Party stands for anything, and it doesn’t strike a chord, they’re fucked – it’s much safer to keep their heads down and coast into office on the back of some well targeted tax rebates and building projects”.
I live right on the border of two rural electorates – Corangamite (super-marginal, currently ALP) and Wannon (super-safe Liberal). I used to be in Corangamite and was redistributed to Wannon. It’s been really interesting (and by interesting I mean intensely irritating) to watch all the funding promises stop just slightly east of where I live – the Princes Highway upgrade? Sure…but only from Geelong to Colac. The worst part of the road is in a safe electorate, but it gets nothing.
To hell with the marginal seats, and the same for undecided voters.
*joins in the applause*
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by blue milk, Tia. Tia said: RT @bluemilk: Undecided voters, turns out we all hate you https://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/08/20/undecided-voters-and-why-i-hate-you/ […]
I *really* want to see some of the “opinions” of voters called out for the utter stupidity that they are by actual political figures.
If Gillard had started her tenure by calling Tony Abbott a liar regarding his portrayal of asylum seekers, rather than perpetuating the lies herself, I might actually have felt some positive feelings about sending my preferences in the direction of Labor.
The Chaser, were right, no matter who you vote for they’re all %&^$ed.
I *really* want to see the stupidity of the ‘undecided voters’ called out by journalists by going to speak to people who know actual answers to their questions. People like academics, researchers, people who work in the relvant fields and so on. And if the journalists are reporting I would like them to go and find a bunch of people who have really thought about the issues and maybe have different opinions, but who have reasons for their opinions other than ‘oh, i just want me and people like me to be recognised’ and who are voting based on something other than the reasons they vote for people on TV shows.
Ack.
My friend linked this to me over Facebook. I feel…vindicated. Thanks very much, this is wonderful reading.
so true.
And so depressing.
the Marginal seat thing is true too, and likewise really depressing.
Last election a huge new Defence complex was built in the middle of nowhere (formerly cute rural town) in a marginal seat. The town didn’t want it. All the workers have to commute from our bigger town (in a safe labour seat).
It was all for the sake of Howard being able to make a quick ‘announcement of bringing jobs to the region’ in the days before the election.
Anyway – surely we have reached the nadir of copycat, stand for nothing at all politics – I predict a rise of niche parties next time around, that actually stand for something.
Just, yes.
Also, I feel so much better for not knowing the price of milk, now. I’ve always had a vague guilt about it, that I’m somehow not in touch with … oh, the common people and political leaders, I guess.
I also don’t know the price of a basket of groceries or a tank of petrol.
I vote for change to our voting system to get rid of both safe and marginal seats.
Multi member electorates elected using proportional representation ( such as they have in Tasmania state parliament, most countries in Europe and in New Zealand) does that very nicely.
Results- better representation of people’s views, more parties in the parliament, coalition governments, and issues having to be negotiated in the Parliament – now I’d like to see that!
BRILLIANT, I love this, thankyou bluemilk.
I am tired of this ‘what’s in it for me’ attitude too, I’m sure it didn’t used to be so openly admitted.
I caught some election tv ads halfway through the campaign (never watch tv so don’t normally see any tv ads of anything). I was gobsmacked. Utter lies, completely baseless claims. I work in government so I have the capacity to analyse that kind of stuff immediately… but how many people see those tv ads and believe it because what you see on tv is real?
I am teaching today and there is an undecided in the group.
She’s not keen on all the money single mothers get and how little she and her hard-working husband get, even though they have made the choice to provide a proper home environment for their children.
And .. she’s not enrolled to vote.
I pointed out (kindly, respectfully) that it was all kind of academic then, really.
I’ve never yet come across a person who had failed to enrol (for overseas readers, voting is compulsory) who I felt I should urge to do their democratic duty. I just do the nod and smile.
Bravo. You just articulated everything I’ve been fuming about.
[…] As I have noted previously, there was a lot of very shallow self-interest expressed by voters during this election campaign, so here is a bit of my own. Lauca was really very inspired by having a female Prime Minister; she even composed a victory song for Julia Gillard, it even rhymed (no small thing when you are only five years old). The saddest thing about last night’s result for me is thinking about how Lauca had said “wake me up if she wins” when we took her to bed. Disillusioned though I was with much of the Labor Party’s campaign, I really would have loved to wake her at midnight to tell her that a woman had won and to hear her sing us the victory song. […]
Oh thank you for writing this. Feels like a weight off my chest somehow. Why isn’t this shouted from the rooftops?
Ideally we could all change our minds about who to vote for depending on the actions of parties during their term in office. That would be an informed choice.
But if I have to hear about the cost of living one more time I really will implode. Really. I do know the price of milk. It hasn’t gone up! The boats are not a big issue. Full stop. Oh, and nobody voted for the last prime minister. (Dear god didn’t anyone get to the sixth grade where they teach this kind of thing???)
Okay, thank you for the space to rant. And there I was just planning to say thanks for writing that post.
PS – I second that comment about proportional represenation in the Senate.
PPS – Why can’t truth in advertising legislation apply to election campaign ads?
Did you see the bit that the Daily Show did about undecided voters, in the last US election? Colbert got a bunch of undecided people together in a ‘focus group’ and asked if they were, in fact, undecided. They said, yes. He said ‘Ok. Well, let me ask you one thing. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!’ and proceeded to yell at them and ask how, in god’s name, could you really be unsure about the difference between McCain and Obama.
It was lovely, lovely, lovely. Because, really. Decide already. Or, if you can’t decide, do so quietly. Don’t hang around saying ‘well, I MIGHT be able to decide, if I got some more money for THIS particular issue’
[…] is that…. I really don’t like Tony Abbott, Lauredhel doesn’t like Tony Abbott, Blue Milk doesn’t like undecided voters (and probably doesn’t like Tony Abbott), Kerry Goldsworthy points out that no one listens […]
[…] is that…. I really don’t like Tony Abbott, Lauredhel doesn’t like Tony Abbott, Blue Milk doesn’t like undecided voters (and probably doesn’t like Tony Abbott), Kerry Goldsworthy points out that no one listens […]
[…] Undecided voters and why I hate you […]
Undergraduate, up-your-own shite. Next week “Shopping trolleys with wonky wheels and why I hate you”.
Because your comment, on the other hand, is full of so much sophisticated wit and insight.